Tonedeff - I Wish I Was Dead lyrics

[Hook: Kno] There's a cloud hanging over me What's in my head I can't see There's a cloud hanging over me What's in my head I can't see, yeah [Verse 1: Tonedeff] It seems I'm captive in a carnival The main attraction People stand in line for hours, stoked They pay to laugh And see me sabotage my charted goal to escape this trap While reading transcripts of my horoscopes Then it fades to black Repeat the pattern till my heart of gold Is stained and cracked Decreased in value If I pawned it whole Would I make it back? The things that matter seem so hard to hold, so I'll face the facts And leave this planet how I found it Lone And embrace the casket Feel so damaged, that I can hardly cope in a savage world, where the scars reopen at random If you don't wanna choke, put a bandage over your parted throat I'm man that's on his own and I can't get over these obstacles And it adds a sting that the common folks are this adamant to think god's a hoax And I'm outta hope Though I'm strong I don't wanna live with the strain No positive notes, no prospect glowing to give me the strength I simply revisit the day that misery came And, I wait for the light at the end of the tunnel, until it hits me That it was a train [Verse 2: Kno] I can feel my blood circulate the whole of my body Cause there's holes in my body, like a blow from a shotty I'm a**uming it probably, cause the hospitals got me I get up off the gurney and I am certainly wobbly But it doesn't concern me that I am fervently nauseous I'm not overly cautious, I just don't know what caused it So I'm talking to doctors, asking where is my family Or who was it that brought me, or who was it that shot me Cause I'm hurt pretty badly, but my memory's shoddy And nobody will help me, so I'm wobbling oddly To the front of the lobby so maybe someone will spot me But my face is in pieces maybe they don't recognize me Now I'm just realizing, as I open my pocket That my phone is inside it, so I'm frantically dialing Trying to call my fiancé, maybe she's trying to find me But I hear ringing behind me, and it strikes me as odd I turn around as she walks up to finish the job [Bridge: Tonedeff] I'm wishing for d**h The world is a weight upon my neck Oh, oh, oh I'm wishing for d**h If today's like tomorrow, let this end