Tom Smith - Sheep Marketing Ploy lyrics

Once, in a land far away, on a beautiful day, On a wide gra**y knoll, There was a cute little sheep, who was drifting to sleep, When the earth opened up... ... and swallowed him whole! Way down in the fiery lake, Lucifer had a lot at steak, But he wanted some lamb chops instead, and Shari Lewis wasn't dead, So he kidnapped some virgin wool, grabbed its soul and began to pull, But he never thought that the lamb he'd caught Would rebel and then conquer and rule. Now he's Fenton, Lord of the Inferno, Fenton, Demon King of the Dell, Fenton, eyes of flame, breath of Sterno, Fenton, d**h Sheep from Hell. BAA-AA-AHH! He's right out of a storybook, but the signs are there if you know to look, Nasty moustache on his face, sheep are tenors, but this one's a ba**, It's a nearly complete disguise, except for the fangs and the glowing eyes, If the lion lies down with the lamb, he'll be found In three pieces of varying size. Thanks to Fenton, Overlord of the Ovis, Fen-Tongue, does his breath ever smell. Fenton, chew some parsley or clove-is, Fenton, d**h Sheep from Hell. He's a strategist and a conspirer, with a few dozen enemies' lists, And the Weekly World News and Enquirer are afraid to admit he exists. He's a devious mind without equals, and if you're convinced that I'm wrong, Take a look at the various sequels that I'm going to write to this song! d**h Sheep from Hell is the first, you see, Who he is, how he came to be, Then it's done, but what can you do To stop the shear terror of Fenton 2? The story would not be complete Without d**h Sheep 3: The Last Heart Bleat. Apparently k**ed, he comes back for more In the savage sequel, d**h Sheep 4: Lamb of doom, baa-ba-baa-baa, baa-ba-baa-ba-baa, Lamb of doom, baa-ba-baa-baa, baa-ba-baa-ba-baa. After that one, we get to meet Olga, the one girl sheep to whom he is true, And their lovemaking gets pretty vulgah in d**h Sheep 5: Ewe Devil, Ewe! But the forces of goodness are scheming to slay him and bring the world peace, And you'll spend nearly two hours screaming at Fenton 6: Rest in Fleece. And after it's over, he'll be in the cool earth, At rest in the clover... hmm. What is his wool worth? But don't think that Heaven is finally winning -- Watch for d**h Sheep 7: A New Baa-Ginning! Starring Fenton, he's a cuddly disaster, Fenton, and I'm hoping he'll sell, Fenton, Dark Prince of the pasture, I'll send Spielberg an offer letter -- If he won't bite, a demonic sweater -- What could be better than Fenton, the d**h Sheep from Hell! BAA-AA-AHH!