Tom Scott - Benefit lyrics

[Intro] Yeah this song right here Should only be played on a Dole day It's for the f**ing bums On the benefit! [Chorus] I've got two dozen in the fridge And I've got another two dozen on the way And I just got paid from WINZ (Yeah) Bro, you know it's gonna be on today, (another day I'm on a) Benefit, the benefit, the benefit, the benefit Bummin' on the Benefit, the benefit, benefit, the benefit [Verse 1 - Tom Scott] I get my money for nothing, I'm who I dreamed to be Scamming the government and loving it on easy street I got my DVD, my PS3, and TV free Plus I got my missus. pregnant, now we'll get the DPB I love being me, I'm just a groovy guy I went from thinking suicide up to super size They gave me loot to buy, me a new suit and tie So I took my cutie pie to get some soup and Thai Cause I gotta get low like a deer And I ain't got a moment to spare So I gotta be quick when they're telling me a whole lotta sh** that I don't want to hear Like, 'when you get a job interview, you gotta really make sure that you know what to wear If you ever wanna go anywhere...' yeah blah blah blah blah, bro, I don't care Walk in an interview looking like a bum I ain't had a shave in over a year Kick up my feet on the boss's desk Pick up a pen and I'm poking my ear Scratching my balls, stroking my beard 'Bro, can I light up a smoke up in here? It's only a joint, don't be a queer Can I use this trophy to open a beer?' Yeah, that's the way that I lie Ain't worked a day in my life I Think imma fly to Brazil And you're gunna pay for the flight Now you can hate if you like Or you can take my advice; When you apply, stick up the line! 'Give me my money! (Gimme my fries!) (Please.)' [Chorus] [Verse 2 - Tom Scott] I lay around and make about two hundred bucks a week I made the couch into my house, my life is f**ing sweet I never score, I get a bottle full of d** for free Chuck them all in a cup of tea and it's just like halving a couple E See, cause I believe that in this life, there are choices I made the choice to tell my doctor that I've been hearing voices He said 'You're schizophrenic' I said 'I'm rich-ophrenic!' He said 'What you say now?' I said 'sh**, I'm in it. It's authentic Man, I'm being too loud in my mind What year is it again? Three thousand and nine? Man, what the f** is that big round red thing hiding behind that cloud in the sky? That's weird, man. How does it fly? Wish I could fly. Well, what if I What if I just jumped out of this window right now? Would I die? How 'bout I try? Anyway, yesterday down at the mall, I was like, looking for this mountain to climb And I met this dude, and his name was God And wow, talk about out of it guy And he said that the world's gonna end But maybe I'm seeing things; maybe I'm out of my mind Give me a couple more pills, and it'll be nothing to worry about, I'll be fine' Yeah, that's the way that I lie Ain't worked a day in my life Might pick up and fly to France And you're gonna pay for the flight Now you can hate if you like Or you can take my advice; When you apply, stick up the line! 'Give me my money! Please.' [Chorus] [Outro] Yeah, and, I just like to thank my case manager! (shot!) And shout out to all my ladies on the DPB! (I know nothing, yeah lemme take the kids to the pools this Thursday Shout to our sound engineer for having a real job!, (hooking us up with that) I owe 5 grand on that sh**, that s**s, s**ers! This is for you John, shot for the money, (shot bro), cheers for that mate, i'll take all ya money.. [Outro Instrumental]