Tobias Wolff - This Boy's Life--Chuck's Wife Excerpt lyrics

Basically, Chuck would not marry Tina Flood because he believed himself to be otherwise engaged. Sure, he liked to fool around but way down deep he was saving himself for his wife. He had a clear picture of her, and when he finally met her, he was going to marry her and stay married to her forever. The wife for whom Chuck was saving himself was a television wife, cute, sa**y, pious. Their life together would be a heartwarming series with lots of affectionate banter. It would also have some religious content; the husband Chuck was saving for his wife was a man just dying to see the error of his ways and to mend them. To put liquor, gambling, and fornication behind him forever, along with the bad companions of his reckless youth. Once married, children, and plenty of them. Sobriety. Fidelity. Grace at dinner and a full pew on Sundays. He wanted a good life. The good life he had in mind for himself was just as conventional as the one I had in mind for myself, though without its epic pretensions. And Chuck still had faith in his, whereas I was losing mine. I didn't have a clue what was going to happen to me. My life was a mess, and because I understood the problem as one of bad luck, I could imagine no remedy but good luck, which I didn't seem to have. Chuck held onto his dream as if it were already actual. He was even prepared to go to prison for it. Tina Flood and the baby she carried were not real to him. They were just another entry in the ledger of past mistakes which would give drama to his future change of heart, and which the virtue of his married life would atone for.