To Forfeit - Misery lyrics

How come there's still so much to see? On this bed of misery Where I lay and choose to be blinded from All my responsibilities Just bottles and all these desperate songs And a mind of selfish ease The world is spinning fast outside my window Why can't I have the fate to leave? Goddamn this whole thing I can't believe what I did to me I'm not, I'm not me My whole being's burning down and the fire is spreading all across my dreams I'm not who I wanted to be And in this chair of malady It's a tripe melancholy This staring on the people pa**ing by Cries for more pretentious poetry But I can still see that bright-lit tree Shining deep in me But how am I supposed to grow it out If the roots don't want it to be free Goddamn this whole thing I can't believe what I did to me I'm not, I'm not me My whole being's burning down and the fire is boiling up my childlike dignity I'm not who I wanted to be Goddamn everything I can't believe this is happening I can't let it be My whole being have burnt down and from the ashes spawned an endless stretch of that same old misery It's not how I thought it would be It keeps happening It keeps happening On and on I wonder why It keeps happening Can I blame the sun? Can I blame the moon? Can I blame the stars? No we can't blame anything