Five points for hitting petrol-heads, Jet-skiers too No points for hitting P Platers, they do the work for you Three points for a Volvo-driver, dock one for stereotyping But here's the way to maximum points, you'll do it without trying Ten points for a razor scooter, double if it's not a kid Smash a Pumpkin, k** a Heidi, celebrity's worth a fiver Hit anyone on Reality TV, call it "Non-Survivor" Three points for a pagan worshipper, four if they go to heaven Five for a World Business Leader, plus six for S Eleven There's no point to this world, let's make that clear But you can leave your mark, on a smaller sphere Tell the cops "He just came out of nowhere" One point for road rage tailgaiters Two for custom license platers Three for the Beamer driving ponce Four for a limo full of debutantes Five for the re-made retro cla**ic Six for the original while we're at it Seven if it's open-top red and sporty Bonus if the driver's over forty Eight for bumper-sticker teasers Remember to honk if you love Jesus We must observe equal opportunity Put the pedal to the metal and hit everybody.