Abercrombie was so meek and quiet; Abercrombie was the tearoom type. Oh, you'd never think he'd start a riot; then Abercrombie had a zombie. Abercrombie never stole a hansom (1). Abercrombie never did a bump. Never thought of crawling through a transom; then Abercrombie had a zombie. He never pa**ed a stop. He never sa**ed a cop. He never drove a car into the Astor bar (2). He didn't try to wade in the Aquacade (3); He was just an icky (4), I'm afraid. But like that other famous sinner, Abercrombie met his Waterloo. He's the man who never came to dinner; because Abercrombie had a zombie—or was it two? [Instrumental Bridge] He never pa**ed a stop; he never sa**ed a cop. He never drove a car into the Astor bar. He never tried to wade in the Aquacade; Just an icky, I'm afraid. But like that other famous sinner, Abercrombie met his Waterloo. He's the man who didn't come to dinner; 'cuz Abercrombie had a zombie—or was it two—or was it three or four—or five—or six? (1). Hansom: a type of horse-pulled cab. (2). Astor Bar: the bar at New York's Astor Hotel (1904 - 1967). (3). Aquacade: a reference to the 1939 World's Fair aquatic exhibition. (4). Icky (n.) — one who is not hip.