The Town Pants - Unidentified Friend lyrics

When I woke up I was just like you But in today's paper on page 22 I'm right there for all to see me in my entirety No longer will I live in relative obscurity You know the famous girl I'm with from movies and TV The blurry guy beside her is obviously me Look a little closer behind and to the right Now everybody knows that I was out with her that night and now my time has come I've got the world on the run my problems have come to an end I'm an unidentified friend unidentified friend Fame and fortune's bound to come how will I spend it all My fans will mob me when I go to the mall Dark gla**es and a hat should be first things that I buy Or will my fans see through that - maybe I won't try I'll give you my unlisted number pager number too But when I'm on a movie set my agent will take care of you I'll be on all the talk shows, and game shows galore I'll even go to parties with Charro and Zsa Zsa Gabor I just can't understand it not a single call I've waited by the phone for days and it hasn't rung at all Except for my landlord who says I'm overdue The bills keep stacking up what am I gonna do? Could it be they didn't see my picture after all? would they run it again I'll give them a call And while I'm at it I'll call my famous friend Maybe she'd hang out with me then the wait would end