The Statler Brothers - The Official Historian On Shirley Jean Berrell lyrics

I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell I've known her since God only knows and I won't tell I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell And Shirley she knows me just as well I can tell you her birthday and her daddy's middle name The uncles on her mama's side and the ones they don't claim What she got for Christmas since 1952 And that's only the beginning of the things I could tell you 'Cause I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell I've known her since God only knows and I won't tell I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell And Shirley she knows me just as well I can tell you her favorite song and where she likes to park And why to this very day she's scared of the dark How she got her nickname and that scar behind her knee If there's anything you need to know about Shirley just ask me I know where she's ticklish and her every little quirk The funnies she don't read and her number at work I know what she stands for and what she won't allow The only thing that I don't know is where she is right now But I'm the official historian on Shirley Jean Berrell I've known her since God only knows and I won't tell I caught her the first time she stumbled and fell And Shirley she knows me just as well Oh, Shirley she knows me just as well