The Statler Brothers - Royale with Cheese (dialogue) lyrics

[JULES] Okay so, tell me again about the hash bars. [VINCENT] Okay what do you want to know? [JULES] Well, hash is legal over there, right? [VINCENT] Yeah, It's legal but it ain't hundred percent legal, I mean, you just can't walk into a restaurant, roll a joint and start puffin' away. They want you to smoke in your home or certain designated places. [JULES] And those are the hash bars? [VINCENT] Yeah, It breaks down like this, ok, it's legal to buy it, it's legal to own it, and if you're the proprietor of a hash bar, it's legal to sell it. It's legal to carry it, but...but that dosen't matter, cause, get a load of this; all right, if you get stopped by a cop in Amsterdam, it's illegal for them to search you. I mean that's a right the cops in Amsterdam don't have. [JULES] Oh, man, I'm goin', that's all there is to it. I'm f**in' goin'. [VINCENT] I know, baby, you'd dig it the most.. But you know what the funniest thing about Europe is? [JULES] What? [VINCENT] It's the little differences. A lotta the same sh** we got here, they got there, but there they're a little different. [JULES] Example? [VNCENT] Alright, when you .... into a movie theatre in Amsterdam, you can buy beer. And I don't mean in a paper cup either. They give you a gla** of beer. And in Paris, you can buy beer at MacDonald's. And you know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris? [JULES] They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with Cheese? [VINCENT] No, they got the metric system there, they wouldn't know what the f** a Quarter Pounder is. [JULES] What'd they call it? [VINCENT] They call it Royale with Cheese. [JULES] Royale with Cheese. What'd they call a Big Mac? [VINCENT] Big Mac's a Big Mac, but they call it Le Big Mac. [JULES] Le big Mac! Ahhaha, what do they call a Whopper? [VINCENT] I dunno, I didn't go into a Burger King. But you know what they put on french fries in Holland instead of ketchup? [JULES] What? [VINCENT] Mayonnaise. [JULES] Goddamn! [VINCENT] I seen 'em do it man, they f**in' drown 'em in it. [JULES] Uuccch!