The Sherman Brothers - Why Can't I Be Two People? lyrics

Any simple peasant is afforded the ability in love To win or lose While I of the nobility Am robbed of the facility to choose Any serf or servant can, by natural selection Elect himself a mate if she's amenable But due to my high breeding I'm continually acceding To demands I find increasingly untenable I wish to know I demand to know Why can't I be two people? Why can't I live two roles? Why can't one of me perform all the cloying amenities? While the other me, twin brother me Be a free and happy soul! Why can't I be two people? Split myself right in half Then I could satisfy and mollify and pacify and qualify While the other me would have a helluva healthy laugh! Hah! The custom of royalty in referring to one's self Is to naturally employ the royal "we" We are very happy, we are very sad We are bored and suffer from ennui For a royal prince there's no such word as "me" It's always "we" So rightfully I should be two or three Don't you agree? Why can't I be two people? Why can't I play two parts? Why can't one of me endure The appalling formalities While the other me, twin brother me Have a free and happy heart! If I could be two people Life would not pa** me by I'd have a chance to pick and choose I'd have a chance to win or lose And maybe one of us would have a chance to live Before we die!