The Presidents of the United States of America - Bad Times lyrics

1, 2, 3, 4 You never had rabies You never gained weight You never drank poison You watched what you ate You never came home with a terrible scar You never so much as put a scratch on my car You never got measles You never got gout You never got dizzy And you never fell out You never suggested we all play charades You never picked up any live hand grenades You twisted your ankle I carried you You got a divorce So I married you You fell off a cliff So I buried you I wish there were more bad times to see you through I wish there were more bad times Wish there were more bad times (x4) I wish there were more You never lost contact You never leaked oil You never drank cleanser And you never ate foil You never got hurt by sticks and stones You never choked on any big chicken bones You never got mauled by a mad baboon You never lost all the air in your balloon You never got poked in the eye with a spork You never got sick from all that leftover pork You twisted your ankle I carried you You got a divorce So I married you You fell off a cliff So I buried you I wish there were more bad times to see you through I wish there were more bad times So many things did go wrong But the list is not long enough Not enough bad things to fill up a song Wish there were more bad times (x4) I'd rather gather your bones Than mop up this mess If I scrub us all spotless I'll wreck our success I was holding your hand When it fell on the floor When you left you broke the knob on the door I wish there was more