Dear Santa Been a long time since ya heard from me And I wanna speak for every daddy (that) feels the same as me The times, they are a-changin' Don't mean to put you down But I spend every Christmas Eve lookin' for a part that can't be found So Santa bring and elf or three Toys ain't what they used to be No ya gotta have a PHD in mechanical a**embly And I'll never be able to read instructions in Taiwanese Since they don't make the toys themselves and I could use some help Santa bring along your elves How 'bout it, whoo Shouldn't be so hard for a saint like you Please Santa They probably drive you crazy with nothin' to do You never have to diet with all them mouths around And I'd gladly feed an army Instead of spending Christmas with my face in a frown Yeah, and P.S. send the Boys' regards to Mrs. Claus And don't you forget the batteries, thank you Oh and if you could possibly arrange it Please send me down some of them magical little dudes That live in them tiny little bitty igloos Up there in the middle of the North Pole When they have nothin' else to do all year long And help me put these toys together PLEASE