The Burning Hell - The Berlin Conference lyrics

Why have I called you here? I guess I've got a thing for meetings But please, take a chair, let's get past the formal greetings It's so cold outside, let's ponder wandering the tropics And get to work tabling the topics that we're here to discuss Disgust runs through my northern veins when I consider what we're wasting Think of the southern gains we could all be tasting Speaking of taste, waiter, another gin and tonic Don't look at me that way, Teutonic thirst is chronic and this is thirsty work. Let's not be gentle, gentleman, this project's continental Oh, don't worry about that spill, friend, the tablecloths are rentals Pa** me the map and the brandy, I've got a pen already Where's the ruler? Where's the compa**? Ready, hold it steady…now, will you look at that! Some call us rivals, they say we've got interests not friends Well you say tomato, and I say dividends Divided we stand but united we'll do business Is this civilized or what? Can I get a witness, let's sign this and light a cigar! Oh, far be it for me to presume or decide I just called the meeting I'm not taking sides Side of beef? Cider? More port or maybe champagne From the cellar, oh waiter we'll need you again It's best to be under the influence, oh When deciding our spheres of influence, no Scrambling's for eggs not for colonization Sit settle down just relax and be patient Here is a piece of the pie for you, and here is a piece of the pie for you too And for you, no pie, after all you came late! Do you ask for a kiss on the very first date So lodge a complaint, it's a hodgepodge a paint by numbers call it whatever you want But let's focus on finding a final agreement, OK? I'm too drunk to think any more and I say 50 is the magic number, wormless are the birds who slumber In three months we'll do it let's begin