The Adventures Of Duane And BrandO - Legend Of Zelda lyrics

Once upon a time in the land of Hyrule Everyone was okay and everything was cool Until the Dark Prince Ganon appeared and said The Triforce is mine and everything is dead Really Know your role, Link I'll leave you black and blue And by the way- What?! (EP: What's up?) I kidnapped Zelda, too Oh sh** I thought to myself What am I going to do When I find your a** I'm gonna straight end you Is that a mask or your real face You big fat jerk Come and find out, Link He said with a smirk I'll find my way to your maze Fill up on hearts along the way Today will be the last day of your life You're so gay Nope Listen up Link Before your story begins It's so complicated that you'll never win You're jokin' And that's why I'll detail it 'cause you ain't sh** I've got more important things to do than worry about it When your hearts run low, there's some fairies in the lake They'll reload your energy like Frosted Flakes They're great For now that's all you're getting no more clues for you Enjoy motherf**er, 'cause you'll never get through That's what you think I'm the Infinite Hero And I'll keep on fightin' (EP: And I'll keep on smilin') 'Til my health reaches zero Like my white tights My patience is thin Haha You won't amount to nothin' Let the story begin Oink LP: Ohh Take this sword I'm old EP: Here you go Here's a sword Link Duane... Both: The name's Link (haha) and I'm braver than brave I got a wooden sword from an old man in a cave And when my hearts are maxed out, it shoots an energy blade I don't know how exactly that works, but that's okay with me Eventually I'll find my way out of this maze North, west, south, west, I'm on my way to the graves When I master the Master Sword, I'm goin' to town On Zelda's upside down Triforce with one in the brown You can't stop me from comin', I am the Hero of Time You'd better run for your f**in' life, I'm comin' inside Haha I'm here to destroy all of you one by one Makin' you disappear, come here, you know you can't run I got my magical shield, plenty of arrows to last me My boomerang is at full range, I'm a walkin' catastrophe Don't test me you motherf**ers, you can't hide You can try to run, but I got a map to where you reside I am the legendary fairyless wearin' the green tunic k**in' everything motherf**er I'm blowin' holes in the walls Goin' from dungeon to dungeon 'til every one of them falls This is my destiny, and I'm comin' for you It's a secret to everybody how I do what I do Eight mini-bosses dead, and I'm on my way to Ganon With all the weapons I got, who the f** needs an arm cannon?! I've died a million times and I'll die a million more, I'm at your f**in' door Link Haha (EP: What's up?) I see you've finally arrived Watch me disappear and reappear before your eyes Pleased to introduce you to my energy balls They will destroy you like nothing you've ever- No! I don't think so Now watch as I swing Aimlessly into the air Not hitting anything Hahaha LP: I've got the Triforce, b**h I ain't got time for hide-and-seek Come and get some EP: You're so ugly you're invisible But that won't stop you from me Come and get some Both: Nooooooo I think not I'm Ganondorf, b**h Get your fairy booties out of here 'Cause you ain't sh** It's swine time My time to shine Hyrule's mine Mine all mine Ahahahaha One, two, three times I hit you with my blade Now it's time to shoot an arrow straight into your face Nooooo! It's been a great time k**in' you swine, I gotta say But after all is said and done, I'm not even gettin' laid Well exCUUUUUUUSE me, Princess So I went through all that trouble and she's bein' a b**h I just saved her f**in' life, and what the hell do I get Nothin' f** that sh**, I should be gettin' some head But Zelda's pa**ed out early, layin' up in her bed I'm on the COUCH man! That's totally lame The upside down Triforce is a totally different game That's cool, she'll come around eventually Besides, she's in a coma in the next game, G. For real...