Terror 2000 - Liquor Saved Me From Sports lyrics

Jim Bean, my best friend, picks me up in his truck In the backseat JD, my brother in law My German penpal Helmut Jägermeister Sends me small bottles of liquor in the mail I know I chosen the right path So I did the math The call, will be answered I will grow up to be a romancer Hockey is for sissys, football for nerds Bowling for grandma and her domesticated birds Jeff, bobby, matt, those football a**holes I slam the door in their faces, they will only see laces [Chorus:] Liquor saved me from the sports I rather sit by the pool in my s**m stained shorts And get f**ed up... I want to be addicted, subjected by the booze I'd like to wake up in the morning and feel my oze My b**h tells me she wished I would never been born She sits at home and mourn..! [Chorus] Baseball for machos La crosse for the queer Tap Dance for grandpa And his conservative peers I may have vomit on my clothes But I still know how to break some bones [Chorus] Bottoms up, buckle up!!! [x2]