Team StarKid - I Steal Everything lyrics

Aladdin: Want food but got no money I'm screwed, or so it would seem That's why I came up with this brilliant scheme Just steal everything (Dialogue) For real, I'm not that picky I'll steal whatever's in sight Don't judge, 'cause you don't understand my plight Crippled Orphan: (Spoken) Hey, my crutch! Aladdin: (Spoken) It's mine now, loser I steal everything (Dialogue) Did you know that in this barbaric country They only give you money if you work? Thanks but no thanks, "The Man" I'll keep stealing all I can Instead of being a fascist, yuppy jerk Crippled Orphan: Hippy! Orphan: f**er! Bread Seller: Slacker! Aladdin: s**er! Who would seek employment When life offers such enjoyment? Anything I get I can get for free Besides, the economy's sh** So I make haste when making exits Get chased by a murderous mob Hey man, still beats getting a job (Spoken) Am I right? (Dialogue) Pregnant Girl: a**hole! Aladdin: Oh, wow Father: Douchebag! Aladdin: Hey now! Just one question, why man? Father: 'Cause you stole my daughter's hymen Aladdin: That's completely fair But in my defense: (Spoken) Dude, your daughter's hot I feel that it's my duty To steal, 'cause stealing's an art I'll steal clothing and shelter, whatever I lack Candy from babies, the shirt off your back Credit, identities, thunder, and scenes Intellectual property, whatever that means And if you look closer This poor little orphan will steal your heart...