T Bone Burnett - The Strange Case of Frank Cash and the Morning Paper lyrics

It was late september two years ago Frank cash was down on his luck He'd made a k**ing at churchill downs And that left him somewhat thunderstruck So he rented a place down on lonely street He was looking for somewhere to hide The paper showed up at the door every day And he'd go through the cla**ifieds Then one morning he turned to the sports page And he noticed that something was strange The race results were from the day before But the football scores were from next week's games Frank felt a scared and a little deranged But a switch board lit up in his brain That sunday he watched in amazement As the scores flashed by on his tv set Monday morning he ran for the paper And made it to the phone and began placing bets He put ten thousand that night on the jets Ten grand he didn't have on the jets It happened like that the whole season He couldn't even count all the money he'd made He started buying italian women and shoes Which he kept on a sprawling estate on the lake And by that i don't mean by the lake I mean ON the lake He waited all summer for the football to start The maiden brought him the paper every day But all he could find was yesterday's scores The damned paper had ceased to prognosticate Then a look of horror crossed his face It finally dawned on him but too late His rolls hit the pavement at a hundred and twenty Heading for lonely street He rang the bell and a john walker answered Frank pressed his luck against the door screen Frank asked if he still got the paper John walker said "what do you care?" Frank answered "i need to see the sports section Just for a minute" and john walker stared Frank tried to push through the doorway John pulled a real forty-five The dogs were all barking as the rolls pulled away John walker was no longer alive The judge looks down through his bifocals The peers of the jury squirm in their seats The courtroom is silent except for his footsteps Frank cash is about to speak And frank says: Your honour and ladies and gentlemen of the jury All this has been happening to me because of this guy Named t bone burnett. he's been making all this up And i just want to say i don't believe in him In fact i don't even think he exists and not only that BUT THIS SONG IS OVER Frank got a suspended sentence The jury ruled it was self defense They ignored his statement On the grounds it didn't make any sense Frank cash had a pretty good year Considering the dizzy chain of events That paper was never delivered again But i gave him back all the money he'd spent And he married a woman with a lot of soul And his first son will become president If you see him tall him i said "hello" And that i'm happy to be able to call him my friend [t bone burnett / tonio k] -