Symetrik - Under Rain lyrics

I force myself to sleep and hope to God I will not dream, 'cause I will never understand what all my nightmares f**ing mean, and I am feeling like a freak until I scream about my pain, but that's the way my body rids me of the weakness in my veins and I wake up under rain, without a cloud against the sky, and I am barely knowing how to keep my head up, held up high, and I struggle or I die, cuz that's the way it f**ing is, and it sure is hard to live without an answer to a wish to simply have a reason that I get up in morning, feeling out of sorts and my heart is feeling worn, and the only thing to stop me walking out that f**ing door, is just the whisper of a promise that you made to me before well now you're just a who*e, you're driven by your lust, you got me feeling perfect when you broke my f**ing trust you left me in the dust to gather rust, a fallen God, so load up every chamber and I'll gladly take a shot (hook by Lil $am) every time you touch me I can feel the poison swelling in the pulsing of the anger in the words you end up yelling, and I'm telling you to take me, break me, hate me, use me, hurt me, to the point I simply snap because I'm nowhere close to worthy to be close enough to kiss you, k** you, force you to your knees, cuz you tease me when I'm pleading, when I'm begging you to breathe, but you've got a strange belief that this disease will make me weak, so just beat me 'till I'm bleeding cuz the tears will make me clean, and doesn't it just seem that this whole life is out of place? like when you wake up in the morning and you hate to see your face? and it is hard to just replace, erase the love I've felt so long, because your hatred is the fire that just keeps me burning strong, I could care less if you're gone because this song ain't 'bout the pain, or all the underhanded ways that you would undermine my name, or just wonder why the shame was not enough to hold me down, so just guide me to the river and I swear to you I'll drown (hook by Lil $am)