Sur5ILL - The Layoff lyrics

[Hook] Wish they would lay me off, severance pay me off Getting fired or quit? Man, I should weigh these OP-tions I think it would be so AWE-some I would just sit around and play XBOX One Wish they would lay me off, severance pay me off I'm at a crossroad, I hate my shady boss [Verse 1] Alright, I've had to go HR for so many cases the race card Was played in my favor, I won't belabor that I'm no saint y'all Yeah, 'cuz I don't play in the Superdome with a faceguard Nor a clipboard where it stores the laminated play charts I'm just an office b**h, let me come down from my podium I'm not far from a janitor, Chappelle would say a custodian And the sh** is garbage, pardon my French--Napoleon I work 60% of the time like Sex Panther by Odeon I feel the the same guy that hired me conspires to fire me When he smiles in the corridor it feels like a giant lie to me Grinning ear to ear all Cheshire-y in his piety I want to say things to him that require parental advisory I hate him with every fiber inside of me Constant bu*t-ins or weigh-ins from his tower of Keenan Ivory One of us has to go in order to end this rivalry This song is a prime example of how I wouldn't go quietly [Hook](x2) [Verse 2] (Yeah) Sharing Craig's traits, fired on my day off, cutting dead weight Been getting out of bed late and not having my head straight Third day in a row I've been delayed by a half hour And not showered I'm not a morning person like Matt Lauer They're probably losing clout having scouted a dumb hire In the past month alone, I've called out more than umpires ​My attitude includes not being amused​, I'm unhappy​ ​This probably caused me to slack off like removing my khakis​ At ten til noon some ginger dude set up​ the exit interview​ ​Impending doom; used it as a forum to merit my ridicule​ They weren't going to wait around for me to blow up like inner tubes Apparently my behavior was raising red flags like Liverpool Terminated like some vermin worm-related serpent pagan Merlin magic nerdy laden person in an urban haven Office b**h working maiden patient zero, ZERO patience They made me print here and make sure of my cursive placement [Hook](x2) [Verse 3] (OK) I'm in a pickle now, I hope those wealthy tax dollars trickle down ​How am I socialist because I pulled my hammer and sickle out​? A memorandum was sent around, my dismissal's official now ​I'll celebrate within my house and fill my mouth with ​triple stout The third year in a row where management stole our bonuses Greed is the only M.O. that the shareholders voted in ​I could have given my notice not that anyone would have noticed it​ ​I was jaded but acting devoted​ is how I coded it As I pack my desk my coworkers all stick their noses in​ ​And show their face to Sur with fake concern​ but the motive is Get promoted ​to my job so they check the site that hosted it​ ​They posted it​ faster than their web browsers could reload the sh**​ ​The next act to hurry me did show their maturity step forth Bridge is burning me as they ensure I leave--security escort​ ​Walked me out and took my badge, nah, I wasn't looking sad Glad to be kaput now I can make a bigger push to rap (WORK)