Sudden d**h - My Doctor's a Quack lyrics

{*a parody of Sir Mix-A-Lot's song "Baby Got Back"*} I feel sick and I just might die And I honestly don't know why But when my doc walked in with a huge seringe And a big grin on his face I pa**ed out Which doctor is mine? Then I learned the witch doctor is mine What in God's name am I wearin'? My bu*t's stickin' out of the rear end Oh my God, I wanna go back home And go to the bathroom My homeboys came to visit The doc saw my cut and then he kissed it A termometer he pulled out But he doesn't wanna put it in my mouth I said back up! Back up! 'Cause you ain't gonna shove it in my bu*t I feel much better now To Hell with my medicine My bed, lead! He's poking me all over my head The food is made of slime And it really should be a crime Take the average dinner and eat this stuff It comes right back up So cooks (yeah) cooks (yeah) Does it taste better coming back up (hell yeah) My doctor said eat it (eat it) eat it (eat it) It'll make you feel alright Doc is a quack! My doctor's a quack! The nurse was big and round She took up the whole town I just couldn't help it when I saw her My puke went flyin', without even tryin' She knocked me down on the floor Then "Clear (zap) clear (zap)" I ain't takin' those pills That's birth control, or couldn't you tell The doctor came to test my reflex But there's no reflex in The middle of my chin He hit me and my mouth caved in I'm lookin' at all the other docs Reputations solid as a rock Why can't my Doc be smart I'm stuck with Groucho Marx Somebody get me some help please call a paramedic My doc's pathetic 'Cause he wants to drill a hole in my head I'm gonna scream till the break of dawn What's my life worth? He thinks I'm gonna give birth This guy wants to search my body cavity I'd rather be impaled on a fence I'm restrained, I'm in pain And my underwear's got a big stain "Does this hurt?" yeah "Does this hurt?" yeah As he keeps on pokin' my gizzard He said open up, say ahhhh Then he shoved the little stick in my eye Doc is a quack! My doctor's a quack! They wheel me around in a gernie I feel like I'm in Weekend At Bernie's But Bernie never had to go through all of this torture Which cost a fortune All I want is to get out alive He grabbed me and told me to cough But he enjoyed it a little too much Some people think I should try to sue him 'Cause my future's lookin' real grim He cut me and enjoyed it I didn't move fast enough to avoid it He wants to cut open my brain He thinks it'll stop the pain But I know that's wrong and I just can't fight it It's Appendicitis A garden hose he shoved in me This ain't no I.V He said he gave me a sedative But I think he gave me a laxative This knucklehead's really a chump And now I gotta take a dump I'm not sick somebody tell him If I live through this I'm gonna k** him This guy's really gettin' on my nerves His treatment is for the birds So shove his medicine back in his face And get me out of this place Doc is a quack! My doctor's a quack!