Steve Martin - Dentist! lyrics

[ORIN] When I was young and just a bad little kid My momma noticed funny things I did Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun I'd poison guppies, and when I was done I'd find a p**y cat and bash its head That's when my momma said (What did she say?) She said "My boy, I think someday You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay" You'll be a dentist (Be a dentist) You have a talent for causing things pain (Pain) Son, be a dentist (Son, be a dentist) People will pay you to be inhumane (Inhumane) Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood And teaching would suit you still less Son, be a dentist you'll be a success [GIRLS] Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque! Watch him s** up that gas, oh my God He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis De Sade? [PATIENT] Oh, that hurts, wait, I'm not numb [ORIN] Ehh, shut up, open wide, here I come I am your dentist (Goodness Gracious) And I enjoy the career that I picked (Love it) I am your dentist (Fitting braces) And I get off on the pain I inflict (You really love it) I thrill when I drill a bicuspid (Ooh, bicuspid) It's swell, though they tell me I'm maladjusted (Dentist) And though it may 'cause my patients distress (Distress) Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me I know that my momma's proud of me Oh, momma 'Cause I'm a dentist and a success Say aah (Ahh) Say aah (Ahh) Say ahh (Ahh) Now spit