Steve Goodman - Lincoln Park Pirates lyrics

[spoken] In Chicago where I live, there's an outfit that'd tow almost anything off the street. But they deal mostly with automobiles. And we call 'em the Lincoln Park Pirates The streetlamps are on in Chicago tonight And lovers are gazing at stars The stores are all closin' And Daley is dozin' and the fatman's counting the cars And there's more cars than places to put 'em, he said But I got room for them all So round 'em up boys 'cause I want some more toys Hit the lot by the grocery store To me way, hey Tow them away The Lincoln Park Pirates are we From Wilmette to Gary There's nothing so hairy And we always collect our fee To me way, hey Tow them away We plunder the streets of your town Be it Edsel or Chevy there's no car too heavy And no one can make us shut down We break into cars when we gotta With pick axe and hammer and saw And they said this garage had no license But little care I for the law All my drivers are friendly and courteous Their good manners ya always will get 'Cause they all are recent graduates of the charm school in Joliet To me way, hey Tow them away The Lincoln Park Pirates are we From Wilmette to Gary There's nothing so hairy And we always collect our fee To me way, hey Tow them away We plunder the streets of your town Be it Edsel or Chevy there's no car to heavy And no one can make us shut down And when all the cars are collected And all of their fenders are ruined Then I'll tow every boat in Belmont Harbor To the Lincoln Park Lagoon And when I've collected the ransom And sunk all the ones that won't yield Then I'll tow all the planes that are blocking the runways At Midway, O'Hare and Meigs Field To me way, hey Tow them away The Lincoln Park Pirates are we From Wilmette to Gary There's nothing so hairy And we always collect are fee To me way, hey Tow them away Now citizens gather around And I think it's enough And let's call his bluff Let's tow the bum out of town