Spongebob Squarepants - 20,000 Patties Under the Sea lyrics

[in Jellyfish Fields] SpongeBob: Breaker, breaker outer perimeter, looks clear. Over. Patrick: Robert, Robert...uhh...Ronald, Ronald, Ryan. SpongeBob: Are you sure you're not trying to say Roger? Patrick: Oh, wait I got it. Ringo... [SpongeBob sees jellyfish] SpongeBob: Patrick, we have visual contact. Now taking evasive action. Subject still in close proximity. Over. Patrick: Hello? SpongeBob: Please reply. Patrick: I wonder if I can order pizza with these things. SpongeBob: Please, contact immanent Patrick. Respond now. Please. Please! Patrick: SpongeBob, you're gonna need to speak up. My eardrums aren't what they used to be. SpongeBob: I can't speak up Patrick, there's a jellyfish here and I'm worried it might sting me if I make any loud... [SpongeBob bumps Patrick and he screams] ... noises. Patrick: Oops. [they run away. The jellyfish shrugs it off] SpongeBob: Is he still after us, Patrick? Patrick: I don't know, buddy! SpongeBob: Should we turn around and check? Patrick: Ok. [they both turn around and trip over something] SpongeBob: Oh, I think I landed on my pain center. Patrick: I think I landed on a rock. [Patrick shows a big rock on the back of his head] SpongeBob: Patrick, look! There's a weird thing sticking out of the ground right there. Patrick: That's just Squidward sunbathing again. [Patrick points to Squidward who lowers down his sungla**es] SpongeBob: No, not that, Patrick. This! Patrick: What is it? SpongeBob: I don't know. I think there's something buried underneath it. And I'm gonna go get some shovels so we can dig it up. Patrick: We? [cut to large piles of dirt] SpongeBob: Phew! Nothing like a little manual labor to put some hair on your chest, eh, Patrick? Patrick: I'll say. [his entire chest is covered with hair] SpongeBob: Plus look at what we unearthed! A UFO! [looks inside] Go on, you first. [Patrick climbs down a ladder with SpongeBob following] Kinda dark, huh? Patrick: Yeah, dark. SpongeBob: Well, there's gotta be a light switch around here somewhere. Found it. Excuse me, sir. [pulls off a skeleton and proceeds to start the submarine] Hey, Patrick, look! We're moving! And here's the steering wheel! Patrick: Now hold it, SpongeBob. You better let me drive. SpongeBob: Gimme that wheel! Patrick: No! Let go! I wanna drive! [the submarine goes crazy. scene cuts to the Krusty Krab] Mr. Krabs: I don't understand, Squidward. Where are all the customers? I know the Krusty Krab isn't Bikini Bottom's most prestigious eatery, but at least it's better than that salty old Chum Bucket across the street. And that's our only competition. Squidward: Am I getting paid extra for this conversation? Mr. Krabs: Oh, come on, Squidward. Can't you just pretend to listen for once in your life? Do it for old Mr. Krabs. Squidward: Well, since you can't bring any customers into the Krusty Krab, have you ever thought about bringing the Krusty Krab to the customers? Mr. Krabs: Quiet, Squidward, I'm brainstorming! Ooh, ooh! What if instead of bringing customers to the Krusty Krab, we could bring the Krusty Krab to the customers? Squidward: La la la la la la la la la la la la. Mr. Krabs: Yes, of course! But how? [the submarine crashes into the Krusty Krab] SpongeBob: Can we park here? [Squidward looks up] Hey, Mr. Krabs! Look what Patrick and I found! We're gonna use it to go on a long journey. Patrick: Or even around the block! Mr. Krabs: That's it! We'll take the Krusty Krab on the road. [cuts to outside] So long, boys. Make me lots of money! SpongeBob: Bye, Squidward. Bye, Mr. Krabs. [dreamily] Bye, Squidward. Patrick: You said "Bye, Squidward" twice. SpongeBob: I like Squidward. Plankton: [looking through a telescope] A traveling restaurant, eh? It's not fair! I had that idea years ago! No matter. If Mr. Krabs wants to play dirty, then Plankton's ready for his turn to take his turn. [laughs and turns the fist from the Chum Bucket building into a flying vehicle] SpongeBob: Hello! Man: Hello. SpongeBob: Could I interest you in a Krabby Patty? Man: No thanks. Patrick: Now what? SpongeBob: I don't know, Patrick. Mr. Krabs said if we didn't find customers, not to come back. [to Man] Are you sure you don't want to be out first customer, sir. Man: Yeah, I'm pretty sure. [starts to walk away] SpongeBob: Wait! We'll pay ya! Man: Hey, thanks again, guys. Good luck with the restaurant! SpongeBob: Thank you, sir, come again! Plankton: Those nincompoops are better salesmen than I suspected. [an alarm sets off] Voice: Customer approaching. Plankton: Hello, little boy. Would you like a chum burger? Boy: Uh, does it come in raspberry? Plankton: Um, no. Boy: Blueberry? Plankton: No. Boy: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...raspberry? Plankton: Ah, come on, kid. You asked me that already. Now quit wasting my time! Mable: Hey, you can't talk to my son that way! Who do you think you are? Plankton: I'm Plankton, you old hag. And your son smells like boogers. Truck Driver: Hey, you can't talk about my wife that way. What do you think this is? Plankton: I think it's time for you to lose some weight, fatty. That's what this is. Mary: Hey, you can't talk to my grandson like that. Someone oughta put you in a mental hospital. Plankton: Someone should put you in a box floating down the river, Grandma! Mary: You're probably right. Plankton: You people are crazy. I'm getting out of here. [a person throws a rock at Plankton] What the? [People start throwing rocks] No! Controls malfunctioning! [people continue to throw rocks] SpongeBob: Hey, Patrick. Patrick: Yeah? SpongeBob: Weren't you supposed to be on kitchen duty? [cut to the kitchen, where the patties are burnt] Oh, no. You burnt all the patties. It's hard as a rock. How are we gonna find somebody who would buy these? Truck Driver: [sees there are no more rocks] Hey, the rocks are all gone. Crowd: Aww! [Plankton smiles, but sees SpongeBob coming] SpongeBob: Folks, have I got a deal for you. [the crowd sees the hard patties. They buy them and proceed to hit Plankton with them] Jack: Alright, get 'im! [they start to throw the patty rocks at Plankton] SpongeBob: Won't Mr. Krabs be so proud of us when he finds out how good we're doing. See any new customers, Patrick? Patrick: No, but I see a sign. It says. "Warning: Ab...eyes?" SpongeBob: Here, let me see. [looks through periscope] No, Patrick, that says "Abyss." Patrick: Oh, OK. What's an abyss, SpongeBob? SpongeBob: An abyss is a bottomless... [SpongeBob turns around, the submarine falls down the abyss] ...chasm! [an alarm goes off] Pat, we're falling! Patrick: And now we're being bathed in an eerie red light! Plankton: [he sees them falling] Yes! Yes! Patrick: [the submarine loses its bolts and breaks in the water] And now a deafening warning siren! [SpongeBob imitates the sound. the submarine hits a sludgy item, which turns out to be the head of the Sea Monster] Sea Monster: [shouts] SpongeBob: Look, Patrick! We've floated back up, out of the deep, dark, depressing, horrible abyss! [looks at the Sea Monster] Sea Monster: Hey! [he grabs the submarine] Who are you calling dark and depressing? SpongeBob: Daa! We didn't mean it that way, Mr. Sea Monster, sir! What we really wanna know is... are you hungry? Sea Monster: Hungry? I've been asleep for 79 years. Which means my last meal was 79 years ago. Yes, I'm hungry. SpongeBob: Then try one of our Krabby Patties. Sea Monster: [he eats the Krabby Patty] Mmm! That's the best thing I've tasted since that sewer spill...back in '76. I'll take 640 of them. SpongeBob and Patrick: Woo hoo! Patrick: Order...uh...up! [the Sea Monster gives them large wads of cash] Plankton: Now that those two are out of the picture, all of the customers will come running to me. [looks at the Sea Monster paying them big money [literally], he rips off the periscope] This calls for drastic-er-est measures! [Plankton goes into the abyss] Okay, you bums, time for the second course; Chum Charges! Patrick: [the Chum Charges explode around the submarine] SpongeBob! Our hull's been breached. Do you know what that means? SpongeBob: No! Patrick: [a close up to SpongeBob & Patrick] Neither do I! Plankton: Yes! I sunk the Krusty Krab! I sunk the Krusty Krab! I sunk the... [Plankton sees the vehicle crashing into a cavern wall] Ah, who needs that old Rust Bucket anyhow. Sea Monster: Come on in there! I want more sandwiches! Patrick: [a piece of chum enters the submarine] SpongeBob, look! SpongeBob: What is it? Patrick: It's a liquid. SpongeBob: No, it's a solid! It's a solid! SpongeBob and Patrick: It's a "lol-squid." Sea Monster: All right, what's going on in there? [he sees the Chum Patty] Hey, that looks like a sandwich to me! SpongeBob: But not just a sandwich. It's a...Chum-Wich. Sea Monster: [eats it and likes it] Mmm! Now that's a sandwich! [cut to a sequence of SpongeBob making Chum-Wiches, Patrick collecting the Chum, and the Sea Monster paying them for the Chum-Wiches] SpongeBob: [the monsters belly is still rumbling] Anything else before we shove off? Sea Monster: I want dessert! [Plankton parachutes down] SpongeBob: We- We don't have desserts. Plankton: [lands from his parachute] Don't give another penny to those fast-food phonies. That's right, they stole my idea. My, my, my... [the end of the periscope breaks off, he falls down and rolls into some wet mud] Sea Monster: Hey, a chocolate éclair! [to audience] Now that looks like dessert to me! Plankton: No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! You- You've got it all wrong, see... Hey! [the Sea Monster chases Plankton through the abyss. cut to the Krusty Krab] Janitor: [repairing the windows SpongeBob and Patrick broke previously] There you are, Mr. Krabs, just like new again. Squidward: Now all we have to do is keep SpongeBob away from the... [the submarine crashes into the windows again] SpongeBob: We're back, Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs: Tell me all about it. Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me! SpongeBob: You wouldn't believe it Mr. Krabs, we had so many new customers! Mr. Krabs: I don't care about that. Tell me about the money. SpongeBob: There we were at the bottom of a deep, dark, abyss. And we had to let go of something heavy. Patrick: And paper. Mr. Krabs: You let go of all the money I earned as ballast? SpongeBob: [he and Patrick nod their heads, Mr. Krabs is upset] But on the bright side, we did manage to bring back 37,000 pounds of these decorative deep sea rocks!