Gaston Crazy old Maurice, hmmm? Crazy old Maurice... Lefou, I'm afraid I've been thinking Lefou A dangerous pastime Gaston I know. But that whacky old coot is Belle's father And his sanity's only "so-so" Now the wheels in my head have been turning Since I looked at that loony, old man See, I've promised myself I'd be married to Belle And right now I'm evolving a plan Gaston If I. .. (whisper) Lefou Yes? Gaston Then we. .. (whisper) Lefou No! Would she. .. Gaston (whisper) Guess! Lefou Now I get it! Both Let's go! No one plots like Gaston Gaston Takes cheap shots like Gaston Lefou Plans to persecute harmless crackpots like Gaston Gaston Yes, I'm endlessly, wildly resourceful Lefou As down to the depths you descend Gaston I won't even be mildly remorseful Both Just as long as I (you) get what I (you) want in the end Gaston Who has brains like Gaston? Lefou Entertains like Gaston? Both Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston? And his marriage we soon will be celebrating My what a guy Gaston!