Somegirl - Defeatist lyrics

I cried in your bed and I bled and I fled And I wonder why does the sky seem like its bearing down on me Why does the sky seem so heavy Why does the sky seem like its bearing down on me? Was I running away from you? Or was I running away from me? Next in line of all you've known a defeatist everyone Repetition of the last or a precursor of the next Can you find the girl in me through my insecurities? Can you find me? Is this how it needs to be self-fulfilling prophecy Complete my tragic world As caught as I can be And the things you didn't say and what they sang to me I thought I'd be okay I fight for control and I hold a victory here And every day that draws near I win by less and less And if I turn around this time Then I walking away for good If I could explain to you Why I do these things I do Apparent sabotage under the guise of truth And I am so confused the way I'm feeling about you I feel this about you Would you climb down from your tower I've erected just for you I'll bang my head against your wall And clean the blood when I'm through Then I'm searching for the calm in the hurricane of you Will you find me again too? I'll rest my head against your armor again and again And if my heart bleeds one more time Will you let me in So what secrets will you sing to the black cat in your hand Her body trembling as she searches for a softer place to land Will you kiss the spread of moisture as it flows beneath you hand And remember the sweet longing where our trusting black cat ran Will you talk to me from sleep can you lie to me from dreams And I wonder where your heart lies when you're naked next to me Feelings ripping through my chest whenever you get up to leave I want you here with me Can you look me in the eye when I bell the cat You say we'll do the right thing what the hell is that What am I supposed to do when you're pissing on the moon And when I want you even more what can I do