Slick Rick - Women Lose Weight lyrics

(Chorus) What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor (Verse 1) The name of this entertainement is 'Women lose weight' Our first years of mariage everything was just great But after two kids And a weight gain factor The fact is Now she's completely unattractive Look fat chicks I don't mean to sound rude I tell her nice hit the gym And don't eat so much food But no Your shallow You need to run the course of unconditionnal love and so forth But how if desire's is not there That's just delayment Divorce is, child support, alimony payments My happiness i doubt discouraged So hurry for an easier way out of this marriage Meanwhile my secretary June well groomed When you gonna leave your wife I tell her soon mommy soon, i a**ume Or my destiny is blue Interestingly The only thing left for me to do is to k** her (Chorus) What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor I'm gonna have to k** her Of course there's laws which enforces divorces Send that a** right to the morgue miss What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor I'm gonna have to k** her Of course there's laws which enforces divorces Send that a** right to the morgue miss (Verse 2) My plans against or shenanigans Kinda ran thin Knowin' nothing about poisoning And i can't swim Bad intentions pumping Might as well become numb Cut her lungs or the obvious robbery gone wrong But the catch is do i have the nerve to dispatch this Who can i get to help me murder this fat chick I guess i'll have to play a dude robbin On wednesday The day she usually goes food shopping Anyway long story short hit the side of her Chrysler And sent her clean over the divider "You ba*tard" she said As the wreck went tumblin down the hill I thought "she has to be dead" Later on get a call (from a) Lieutenant O'Rourke (had me) leapin like a frog We need you at the morgue So i selfishly persue "boohoo" there was nothing else for me to do i had to k** her (Chorus) What a surpriser, Open your eyes, A Woman advisor C'mon ya'll know i had to k** her Of course there's laws which enforces divorces Send that a** right to the morgue miss k** her What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor I had to k** her Of course there's laws which enforces divorces Send that a** right to the morgue miss (Verse 3) So you mean to tell me officer you don't have no clue who did this hit and run No sir we don't have no clues right now This is terrible what am i gonna tell the kids? Pull yourself together sir I'm so broken up inside i just can't believe this I understand, I understand Catch the person who did this We're gonna try sir Please Screamin "who done took my heart" acting shakin up a lot At the funeral though everyone was lookin at me odd like i did it Like i was the reason my mates slain murmuring "I heard he was displeased with her weight gain" While my secretary sort of a s**y blonde can't cook All she does is order from restaurants All of the s** you want I doubt could adress Clothes not washed proper and house look a mess and Talkin to detectives that was waitin outside How i took a long lunch break day the wife died I darn near turned pale And because of betrayal they indicted me, and gave me an impossible bail Good fortune to anyone admiring the rawtent Moral of the story is Desire is important So watch your weight It'll keep you mate smitten it's a given Though looking back i realised i didn't have to k** her (Chorus) What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor I didn't have to k** her Of course there's laws which enforces divorces Send that a** right to the morgue miss I k**ed her What a surpriser Open your eyes, A Woman advisor I didn't have to k** her Of course there's laws which enforces divorces Send that a** right to the morgue miss Well there you have it Keep thin trim Keep your mariage healthy Do you know what i mean? Small message from Morcheeba and Slick Rick the ruler Peace