Seanan McGuire - Oh, Helen lyrics

Oh, Helen, you're a felon But there's a reason I'm not tellin' The authorities just where Your lab is hidden Oh, Narbon -- that's a hard one -- Not a damn thing rhymes with Narbon Look, the point is that our love Has been forbidden I was just an innocent computer science major when we met; That's not an oxymoron, I was purely Windows free The day you interviewed me is a day I never will forget I really, truly mean that. I'd need years of therapy Ur-gerbils, mental hurdles Laughs that make a man's blood curdle; These aren't traits I used to look for In a girlfriend But you changed me, rearranged me Heck, you even brain-exchanged me Now I know I'm gonna love you 'Til the world ends I was hired to fix your d**h ray, and my henchman's life was good Well, until your mother k**ed me. Every office has its flaws But I realized mad science was just poorly understood On the day you ressurrected me, and broke all godly laws... This is my mad science manifesto! Now I must reveal my evil plan! I'll use all of my powers to convince you A guy named Dave can be your perfect man! If you can create a talking gerbil There's a chance my evil may prevail! Sure, it's true, my task is somewhat harder... I know the odds are good I'm gonna fail Spoken: "But isn't attempting the impossible with insufficent tools the definition of 'mad'?" I'll show you, even though you Don't believe I really know you; We're both products of a world that Thinks we're crazy Believe me -- you can't leave me There's no reason to deceive me You can k** me if you must; You'll still amaze me Oh, Helen, I don't care if you're a crazy woman's clone Or if petty-minded morons laughed back in academy You're the only mad geneticist I want to call my own And I want to share your lab, your bed, and your insanity... This is my mad science manifesto! That's why it's presented really loud! No angry mobs with torches can dissuade me! I'm pretty sure I'm faster than the crowd If you'd only pause for contemplation You'd see my love will never be denied... So put back the ebola and the ray-guns and the slime Tell Mel it doesn't matter, get your mother off the line I won't rest until 'Star Trek' returns, and you admit you're mine... Can't you see the maddest act of all The very maddest act of all The only thing that beats them all Is Helen, dearest felon Finally tellin' me... You're mine