Sammy J - Christmas lyrics

In early December my mother called me And said, "Will you remember to keep Christmas free? 'Cause last year you went to your father's, you see So this year it's time to see me." And she said, "Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, drop by if you can Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, but I'll understand If you can't make it to my Christmas roast I guess it's dependent on who you love most." Then I got a call from my father as well Who said, "Sammy, I've booked us a restaurant at twelve It's too late to cancel, I hope you can come Christmas shall be so much fun." And he said, "Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, swing by at your leisure Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, but don't feel any pressure Just make an appearance if you're in town And your grandma is dying, so don't let her down." My girlfriend came 'round and said "This Christmas, please Can we spend it together at home with her family?" And all of her cousins and uncles and aunts Who have come over from France And will only be here for the weekend And will be very disappointed if they don't get to meet me And hence my absence would surely indicate a total lack of commitment to the relationship So this year the day before Christmas begins I'm buying a chainsaw to cut off my limbs I'm wrapping them up and I'm sending them out 'Cause sharing's what Christmas is really about And sing Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, so my family Fa-la-la-la-la-la, all get pieces of me They'll have such fun, and I'll have fun also 'Cause I'm staying at home, just me and my torso Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, there's fun to be found Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la, just rolling around And when I stop breathing I'll smile and say "Thank God that I'm leaving before Boxing Day."