[Verse 1] Let me tell you ‘bout all of my problems, they don't seem to go And I can't fathom conditions that are worse than my own That's not what I want, that's not what I asked for Next time I speak up, you better get it to me faster I want a world where I have full control [Pre-Chorus] Mild inconveniences are k**ing me It won't be long before they've ruined my day [Chorus] I'm getting no internet, don't want to get out of bed I dropped my iPhone, now there's a crack in the screen I'm a first world tragedy, it's not okay My parent's credit card got taken away [Verse 2] There's nothing on Netflix that I haven't seen And I can't reach the remote, it's too far away from me Buffering slow, in 720p That's not full HD, this isn't funny Why can't my Smart TV just do what it's told? [Pre-Chorus 2] Mild inconveniences are k**ing me This Warped Tour lineup is complete garbage It wouldn't hurt to book some better bands [Chorus] I'm getting no internet, don't want to get out of bed I dropped my iPhone, now there's a crack in the screen I'm a first world tragedy, it's not okay My parent's credit card got taken away Got taken away They took it away [Bridge] It's getting way too hot Ditch the jacket I just bought Now I'm freezing my own balls off My dark, blue balls It's getting way too hot Ditch the jacket I just bought Now I'm freezing my own balls off My navy-blue, indigo balls [Bridge 2] I know I'm a straight white male That doesn't mean I'm not stuck in hell America is the place to be Unless you live near poverty {4x} (I got mud on my shoes, my brand new shoes {6x}) (Can't find my car keys, where the hell are my car keys?{8x}) (Too many voices, too many voices {2x}) Go! [Chorus] I'm getting no internet, don't want to get out of bed I dropped my iPhone, now there's a crack in the screen I'm a first world tragedy, it's not okay My parent's credit card got taken away [Outro] I'm a first world tragedy I'm a first world tragedy I'm a first world tragedy I'm a first world tragedy, it's not okay