Rza - Alone lyrics

[Intro One: The Education of Sonny Carson] 'What they gives you, blood?' 'Three months, man.' 'Whatchu doin in here anyway? You oughta be home with your momma. How old are you boy?' 'Thirteen.' 'Thirteen? Damn, the ba*tards must be runnin' outta n***as to arrest.' [Verse One: Kur] Check, my life f**ed up Can't complain a lot of times I done f**ed up Had tough luck, I ain't have enough love Plenty nights I went to sleep ain't have enough grub Or I ain't eat at all n***as couldn't live my life Nowhere to go, sleeping outside I did that twice No toilet paper, used socks, did that some nights What the f** did I do make me live so trife I need heat at night My stomach growl it wake me up, how I sleep at night The wet aroma in the air, how I breathe at night Everything that's in the dark gon see that light So Imma see that light I wanted to walk just like you Wanted to talk just like you Wanted to smoke wet and dip Ports, just like you Heard you f**in n***as for money, c'mon that's not you Damn, I really hope that that's not true I know Jamie feel left out too I gotta be her brother, her father, I gotta step up too Sometimes I rather see you dead, than to see you alive I hate you, cause most the times you was the reason I cried Most of the times you was the reason that I hated myself On my own, can't wait to say I made it myself When I was down and needed you, you never came to give help You should be ashamed of yourself But I ain't pointing fingers Man what happened to my mom, you like a f**ing stranger But I still love you more than life, and I can't f**ing change it Just know I got us, we'll be good when I get f**ing famous When I get f**ing famous It's like God don't care It's like some nights I can't call on him I don't trust a soul, even my mom called the law on me Told them I was trapping, that's the night I had jars on me Why you wanna see your only son with a charge on him [Verse Two: ?] Dear mom, I used to blame you for the time you missed But just know I still love you And dear daddy, for some years you had a n***a sick But just know I still love you Cause my struggle only made me stronger I made it through the abuse, through the tears, through the hunger I remember nights when I couldn't sleep Hoping you would finally come around and tell me you could take me home But that was only but a dream, no reality in sight A lot of times I wanted to end my life, but I kept the pushing I was truly just a lost soul No love, didn't even have a stable place to call home When I looked in the mirror I seen a blank face And in my heart I can really feel it crying A lot of deep emotion, a lot of things that I was feeling Wondering how the f** could you leave your son alone In these places where these people only cared about a check And had me eating grease out the bottom of the pan And them fresh a** whoopings when you jumping out the tub You know the one with the baby oil rubbed all on the belt And I was only five I used to wish ya would've f**ing saved me Would've held me tight and raised me like your baby Would've been around and watched me grow into a man But Im older now, I'm in the world, and now I understand