Ryan Beatty - TONYA lyrics

[Intro: Bearface] Mother, I am sorry, I never pick up Mm-mmm Because I'm afraid to disappoint Ooh, oh, no Oh, no [Chorus: Jazmine Sullivan] And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to [Verse 1: Bearface] We were sat outside on the hardwood floor With our feet in dirt, and our hearts in awe I be losin' sleep thinkin' 'bout missed calls And I see the names circling our thoughts And I think about if we lose it all And I turn to sh** that you never want Like the smoke, the drink, anything at all And I'll say again, sorry I don't call There's no money on my mind, but my money or my mind What's the first to fall? Never wanted this— Yeah [Chorus: Jazmine Sullivan, serpentwithfeet & Ryan Beatty] And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to [Verse 2: Kevin Abstract] Sometimes it be so spot on it hurts Like when Auntie couldn't decide between going to work or church I've been in my feelings on an island in the dirt I feel like brothers lie just so my feelings don't get hurt I said, I'll try vacation, and I'll try to run away I deleted Facebook, I'll trade fame any day For a quiet Texas place and a barbecue plate I'll switch my place if that's good for you, is that good for you? My ghost still haunt you, my life is I, Tonya Big eyed monster, only face to conquer I hated songs about fame 'cause that stuff meant nothin' Until them headlines came, then first flight I'm jumpin' [Bridge: Joba & Jazmine Sullivan] And maybe it means nothing But I have to say I think about you often (Ooh, ohh, ooh) And if you want no part with me I'll walk away, I know that I have wronged you (Ooh, ohh, ooh) And maybe it means nothing But I have to say I think about you often (Ooh, ooh, ooh) And if you want no part with me I'll walk away, I know that I have wronged you (Ooh, ohh) [Verse 3: Dom McLennon] I took a plane to somewhere that I've never been Too many times without my sister and my brother Dad or mother by my side but they're in spirit I always hear it, I know they feel it My mom will always have these dreams that keep her up at night I smoke to keep them all away and make use of the time I'm void of feelin' The reasons I'm so out of touch, now start revealin' But I'm not ashamed, I'm not afraid of who I am Or how I trust my mental, yeah it's not perfect But I guess that's just the life I'm into I fantasize about a time when everything was simple My shelter sheltered me from things I needed to commit to The way it stands to me A victim of Stockholm in my friendships and family [Verse 4: Merlyn Wood] What's costin' you time? What's the reason that you whine? What's in your wallet? Dead whites in mine So sour, in this light of lime Daddy said "study hard or get that cash" Mommy said "your career ain't gon' last" Loose change, collared cat, moved out their pad I just want a chance to move past my past Don't think too fast, private jets still crash And I still fly coach, and I'll still hit a roach And I still see roaches at the crib where my folks at Touch your dreams 'fore you touch me and provoke a man (Somebody gonna have to tell the truth and I'm gonna tell it!) [Chorus: Jazmine Sullivan, Ryan Beatty, serpentwithfeet & Matt Champion] And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to (how I used to) (I don't matter!) And I've been feelin' like I don't matter how I used to (how I used to, how) (I don't matter!) [Outro: serpentwithfeet] How I, how I, how I, how I How I used to, how I used to How I used to