My wife used to say she couldn't understand Why I make my living working with my hands She met a junk bond daddy and he broke up my home He made his living on the telephone Daddy spied my darling and he dialed her number then They took off next morning and she won 't he back again Now I may not be good looking and I never been to school But I patched up my broken home using simple tools Simple tools simple tools I like simple tools I' m just a common ordinary workaday fool I might not be the brightest bulb or the straightest mIe But I can mend my broken heart using simple tools I can talk to girls in bars maybe a few We'B drink a little gla** of wine or maybe two I might wake up in gay Paree or good old San Berdoo The gals appreciate a man that uses simple tools I won't be walking 'round all night wondel'in' what to do I won't be calling up the morgue askin' for you Or beating down these memories with one of your old shoes I can do the job in half the time' cause I use simple tools Simple tools simple tools I like simple tools I'm just a common ordinary workaday fool I might not be the brightest bulb or the straightest rule , But I can do the job in half the time and it stays done when I use slmple tools