Rudy Ray Moore - Signifying Monkey lyrics

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Rudy Ray Moore - Signifying Monkey lyrics

Way down in the jungle deep The bada** lion stepped on the signifying monkey's feet The monkey said, "Muthaf**a, can't you see? Why, you standing on my goddamned feet." The lion said, "I ain't heard a word you said." Said, "If you say three more I'll be steppin' on your muthaf**in' head!" Now the monkey lived in the jungle in an old oak tree Bullsh**ting the lion every day of the week Well every day before the sun go down The lion would kick his a** all through the jungle town But the monkey got wise and started using his wit Said, "I'm going to put a stop to this ol' a** kicking sh**!" So he ran up on the lion the very next day Said, "Oh Mr. Lion there's a big, bad muthaf**a coming your way And when you meet, it's gonna be a goddamn scene And wherever you meet some a** is bound to bend." Said, "he's somebody that you don't know He just broke loose from Ringling Brothers' show." Said, "Baby, he talked about your people in a helluva way He talked about your people ‘til my hair turned gray He said your daddy's a freak and your momma's a who*e Said he spotted you running through the jungle Selling a**hole from door to door! Said your sister did the damndest trick She got down so low and s**ed an earthworm's dick He said he spotted your niece behind the tree Screwing a muthaf**in flea He said he saw your aunt sitting on the fence Giving a goddamn zebra a French Then he talked about your mammy and your sister Lou Then he started talking ‘bout how good your grandma screw Said your sister's a prostitute and your brother's a punk And said I'll be damned if you don't eat all the p**y You see every time you get drunk He said he cornholed your uncle and f**ed your aunty and your niece And next time he see your grandma he gonna get him another good piece He said your brother died with the whooping cough And your uncle died with the measles And your old grandpa died with a rag chunked up in his a** Said he was going on home to Jesus And you know your little sister that you love so dear I f**ed her all day for a bottle of beer So Mr. Lion, you know that ain't right So whenever you meet the elephant be ready to fight So the lion jumped up in a helluva rage Like a young co*ks**er full of gage He let out a roar, tail shot back like a .44 He went through the jungle knocking down trees Kicking giraffes to their knees Then he ran up on the elephant talking to the swine Said, "All right you big, bad muthaf**a, it's gonna be your a** or mine!" The elephant looked at him outta the corner of his eye Said, "Alright go ahead home you little funny-bunny muthaf**a And pick on somebody your own size.” The lion jumped up and made a fancy pa** The elephant side-stepped him and kicked him dead in his a** He busted up his jaw, f**ed up his face Broke all four legs, snatched his a** outta place He picked him up, slammed him to the tree Nothin' but lion sh** as far as you could see He pulled out his nuts, rolled ‘em in the sand And kicked his a** like a natural man They fought all that night and all the next day Somehow the lion managed to get away But he drug his a** back to the jungle more dead than alive Just to run into that little monkey with some more of his signifying jive The monkey looked at ‘em and said, "Goddamn! Ol' partner You don't look so swell." Said, "Look like to me you caught a whole lotta hell." Said, "Your eyes is all red and your a**hole is blue I knew in the beginning it wasn't sh** to you There's one thing you and me gotta get straight Cause you one ugly co*ks**er I sho' do hate!” “Now when you left, the jungle rung Now you bring your dog a** back here damn near hung Look muthaf**a, ain't you a b**h Your face look like you got the Seven Year Itch I told my wife before you left I should kicked your a** my muthaf**in' self!” “Why I seen when he threw you into that tree Cause some of that ol' lion sh** got on me Why every night when me and my wife is trying to get a little bit Here you come ‘round here with some that old ‘Aiee-yo' sh** Shut up! Don't you roar! Cause I'll bail outta this tree and whoop your dog-a** some more!” “And don't look up here with your s**a-paw case Cause I'll piss through the bark of this tree in your muthaf**in' face!” The little monkey got happy, started to jump up and down His feet missed the limb and his a** hit the ground Like a streak of lighting and a ball of white heat That lion was on his a** with all four feet Dust rolled and tears came into the little monkey's eyes The little monkey said, "Look Mr. Lion, I apologize!" Said, "If you let me get my nuts out the sand Why I'll fight your a** like a natural man Look muthaf**a, ain't you a b**h, you ain't raising no hell Cause everybody saw you jump on me after I slipped and fell.” Said, "If you'll fight like men should I'd whoop yo' a** all over these woods!" This made the lion mad! It was the boldest challenge he ever had He squared off for the fight But that little monkey jumped damn near outta sight Landed way up in a banana tree and began to grin Sayin', "Look here you big, bad muthaf**a, you been bullsh**ted again!” Said, “Why, I'll take me one of these bananas And whoop on your a** ‘til it sings the Star-Spangled Banner!" And said, "Now if you ever mess with me again I'm gonna send you back to my elephant friend!" Said, "The things I told you will never part But what I'm gonna tell you now is gonna break your muthaf**in' heart!" Said, “Your mammy ain't no good and your sister's been a who*e." Said, "I had that b**h on the corner for a year or more!" But the lion looked up with a helluva frown Roared so loud that little monkey fell back to the ground The little monkey looked up and said "Please, Mr. Lion! Please don't take my life ‘cause I got 13 kids and a very sickly wife!" Said, "All my money to you I'll give Mr. Lion, please just let me live!" But the lion kicked him in his a** and broke his neck Left that little monkey in a helluva wreck The monkey looked up to the sky with tears in his eyes Nothin' he could see or nothing he could hear He knew that that was the end Of his bulllsh**tin' and signifyin' career Signifying career…