Verse 1: Knew it the moment I saw u Everything became clear My life won't be the same It'll be a strange year You were lookin exhausted From drinkin eight beers I could feel ur pain Every time u see the dang mirror So there you sat All alone in the midst Of other fat buffet regular Gross looking pigs I finally , built the courage To blow u a kiss Knowin you'd never let me go Cause I know u exist So I got up, done eating Ready to leave I'm headed to my car now The big red SUV If anybody's comin with me Dont forget to go pee Eh, I started drivin home Like where the heck could she be? Til I slammed on the brakes And she flew off of the roof But she landed safely Cause she filled her pockets with food I was breathless Watching you waddle and move Its so funny! suddenly Our eyes lock like glue You ran toward me, ooh Nothin could stop my boo I said, "You could be a model If you probably lose Like 200 pounds But who's gonna count?" I was the one "You knew what u found, huh?" It was true love Chorus: I know there's lots of pretty chicks all over the world But instead of me tryna make one of em "My Girl" I'ma get a... penny piece An ugly fat chick Who's really insecure And unattractive She'll be my girl, my girl, my girl You'll never leave You'll always be "My Girl" No matter, matter, matter What I do You're always gonna be My girl Verse 2: We've grown strong From being together so long I've got to know all her pros But there's no cons I never offer my jacket For her to hold on When the cold comes She was born with her coats on The other day She got home real late She called me up, "Oh hey The cars broken babe." "Alright sweety plumpkin I won't close the gate Now walk safe." See, I know she won't get raped I can have my friends over Every night after dinner I never gotta worry They'll never try to get wit her "Does dress make look fat Or I look thinner?" "No babe, YOU'RE fat But I like how it fits ya." She blots her eyes out with glitter 'fore we get something to eat And if she has a rough day I let her rub my feet See it's fun to be With a disgusting beast These are just some of the reasons That I love her, kehe! I'm won-der-ing If she gon want a ring She better propose soon Or Ima dump her leave Her bu*t She, as planned Fell on one of her knees And asked me "Did you want your pizza crust?" "Chorus" Bridge: Your thighs are wide And ur moles are blehh (Moles are blehh) I'm gonna be your Number one You're not the type of girl Who gives up just like that Oh, no Verse 3: I said yes and ever since We've been so happy It's evident you're heaven sent I leave my goals gladly What's happens then? we'll reminisce A year ago that we Said We'll have a kid, eleven men Here we go Patty! We started going out more You need some more acne People staring babe U supposed to be a gross fatty And why'd u shave? Without ur beard ur so nasty U even know your jeans are broke? I see ur toned flashy bu*t stickin out, what is it now U gon cover ur mouth Someone gets u mad U not be cuss'in em out? U gonna use your feet? And not have em up on the couch?! Your gonna use teeth And not just s** it all down Oh, and one solid color babe? Why your real hair I suppose at Walmart You're not gon drive a wheel chair? And try the samples But never buy the meals there! Well, I'll kneel in prayer Cause I don't know you anymore You're not the person I married But for better or worse So I'll preserve and carry This relationship Hope I steady the rough seas But didn't have to cause You died from, guess what disease All that hard work And I get a dud JEEZ! Other fish in the sea but No women as ugly Fat girls and heart attacks It'd been a tough week So back to the buffet Let's get another chunk of meat! "Chorus" End: I could punch you in the face And fart in your eyes But wouldn't worry cause you're still gonna be (my girl) Since I'm a pirate, I could tie ya To the front of my boat You'd be a real life figure head and still be (my girl) I could buy a treadmill for ur birth- Day but if you Got in shape I wouldn't want you to be (my girl) After we travel the world My friends and I will tell you bout it You said u wanna be a stay at home (my girl) "no, MOM!"