Rodney Dangerfield - Rappin' Rodney (long version) lyrics

I'll tell ya, I'm alright now But last week I was in rough shape But I don't get a break with nothin' I played hide n' seek when I was three (No respect, no respect) Why, they wouldn't even look for me (No respect, no respect) I was an ugly kid, I never had fun (No respect, no respect) They took me to a dog show, and I won! (No respect, no respect) When I was born, I brought no joy (No respect, no respect) My old man said he wanted a boy! (No respect, no respect) I was an ugly kid, always alone (No respect, no respect) At Halloween, I had to trick or treat over the phone (No respect, no respect) Friends don't call, my phone don't ring, I don't get a break with anything! (What's the matter Rodney?) Oh d**h! Where is thy sting? It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight No! No! Rappin' Rodney, get outta sight! It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break! I'm getting old, it's hard to face (No respect, no respect) Why, during s**, I lose my place! (No respect, no respect) Steak and s**, my favorite pair (No respect, no respect) I have them both the same way, very rare! (No respect, no respect) I know I'm old, I could go any minute! (No respect, no respect) I got a kidney-shaped pool with a stone in it! (No respect, no respect) Dr. Vinny Boombahts, that's another one (No respect, no respect) I said, I wanna stop aging, he gave me a gun! (No respect, no respect) I told him I got water on the knee He gave me a sponge, and raised his fee! (What's the matter Rodney?) Ah! It ain't easy being me! It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight No! No! Rappin' Rodney, get outta sight! It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break! Nothing goes right, I just can't fight it (No respect, no respect) Why, Eastern Airlines thanked me for flyin' United! (No respect, no respect) I got some money, what did I do? (No respect, no respect) I bought some quicksand, the deal fell through!! (No respect, no respect) My car broke down, I called Triple A (No respect, no respect) They left the car and towed me away! (No respect, no respect) I can't take it no more, I'm getting too old! (No respect, no respect) I called Suicide Prevention, they put me on hold! (No respect, no respect) Winter, Summer, Spring and Fall, I'm always up against the wall! (What's the matter Rodney?) Ah! I don't get no respect at all! It's just Rappin' Rodney, ain't wrapped too tight No! No! Rappin' Rodney, get outta sight! It's just Rappin' Rodney, make no mistake Poor old Rappin' Rodney, can't get a break! It's gettin' worse, it's caving in, the heaviness, I can't take it no more It's all over, hey, where are my kids? Somebody help me! Hey bartender! Hey! Who's that guy with my daughter? Where's my wallet? How do I get outta here?