(Rod Stewart / Savigar, Cregan, Grainger) Can I introduce myself I'm a man of panache and wealth Sound in mind, body, soul and health Why I wanna k** my wife I have the urge to take her life Been planing for years to get rid of her Not divorce I really do mean to k** her She's so full of useless information and trivia That's why I wanna k** my wife I have a duty to take her life Her stupid friends get right up my nose They all wear annoyingly sensible clothes They're all so bleeding grandiose, You know why I should k** her friends They're all driving Mercedes Benz. He'll escape down into Mexico Sell the house and find a nice young girl He'll laugh and sing and he won't work anymore. Should I string her up or strangle her in bed Suffocate that little venomous head Or perhaps I'll just whip her to d**h Listen do me a favor k** my wife Do it for mankind take her life Or should I act quite cold and deliberate Or maybe blow out her brains with a bullet They'll think suicide they won't know who done it I'm gonna k** my wife I'm really gonna take her life. He'll escape down into Mexico Sell the house and find a nice young girl He'll laugh and sing and he won't work anymore The moment of truth has come I'm at the point of no return I've got my hands locked round her throat I'm about to k** my wife Don't stop me now I'm gonna take her life Too late now I'm gonna k** my wife Can't help myself I'm gonna take her life Telephone rang and he woke from his sleep His wife snoring soundly next to him It was all a very nasty dream