Robert Trujillo - Some Kind of Monster - Film Transcript lyrics

So, what we're gonna do is, we're gonna play back some of the band's new songs. There'll be no cameras allowed in there. There'll be no video, no bags in there. You can only walk in with paper and a pencil. - We're ready. - Are there any questions? You want a single? Camera over here. Was there ever a moment you thought about stopping with Metallica or the whole band was falling apart? Was it a kind of a power struggle between you and him? How did you manage to solve this crisis? Where in God's name are you getting this aggression from on this new album? Where's it coming from? Why did it take so long to release an album with the new songs? After years, is it possible to retain the fire that, you know, you guys once had at the beginning? Do you think the young generation of metal fans will accept the new album? Eighty-five million records, years. I think it's albums and various official releases. One word. Oh, my God. One word to span our career? We are scanning the scene In the city tonight We're looking for you To start up a fight There is an evil feeling in our brains But it's nothing new You know it drives us insane Running, on our way Hiding, you will pay Dying, d**hs Running, on our way Hiding, you will pay Dying, d**hs Searching Seek and destroy Searching Seek and destroy Thank you! After years of headbanging, Metallica ba**ist Jason Newsted has quit the band, citing: "Private and personal reasons and the physical damage that I've done to myself over the years while playing the music I love." Metallica's management had no comment when asked by MTV News if there's a replacement waiting in the wings. But the band is still scheduled to begin recording a new album this spring. That's the news for now. Stay tuned for more news. I mean, I think everybody understands the concept of trusting instincts. That's getting to a place where you don't let egos and let stuff get in the way of artistic expression. You know? I mean, do you wanna say more? I think everybody understands... I met Metallica through Q Prime Management, after having seen me work with another band of theirs, when they called and said that Metallica, with Jason announcing that he was exiting the group, needed to take a look at itself and say: "Well, what's going on here? We've lost touch with our personal relationships," and face some of the issues that I think Q Prime felt that they were headed for. You know, we haven't really worked together for almost nine months. When we were talking a couple of days ago about whether-- You know, if we wanted to do this film or not, I was wondering if having these guys in here would affect that. Because I'm just-- There's an intimacy that you get when it's just a few people in the room, and I'm just wondering if that's gonna get lost, if we're gonna go back to sort of, like, battling each other and trying to be, like, all strong and-- What intimacy? What the f** are you talking about? I think, to me, it's not gonna be a matter of whether the cameras are in play, but whether or not you guys are free enough to risk being seen by other people. We're here in the Presidio in San Francisco, and this is gonna be the location where Metallica is gonna start recording their next album. We decided that we didn't wanna go back into a studio again and do kind of, like, the same thing we had done before. We had to kind of change things up. And this is one of the things that we talked about, was to go into a space that's not a studio, bring in kind of, like, a portable studio or a makeshift studio, and basically make the situation uncomfortable. You know, don't buy new furniture, don't paint the walls. Don't do anything. Just keep it Spartan, keep it crude. They're such a success that you can get comfortable. I don't think they wanna be comfortable. There's definitely a vibe in here. They got a lot of attitude, and I think they want it to come out on this next album. How did you approach this record differently? Did you talk about things, did you have ideas, keywords, things like that, that you wanted to put across before you started putting the whole thing together? Well, ego was a big one. Coming in here and not bringing a riff, not bringing a song, not bringing a title. Nothing. Me and James did not meet somewhere else and come in here with material, with songs, with music. This time we all got in a room and just started playing. And that's how we wrote songs. The idea is it should sound like a band getting together in a garage for the first time. Only the band's Metallica. I really like going fast. Just go off and meditate in the wind, you know. As corny as it sounds, it works, and it feels good. It's a good way to just let the weight of the world off every once in a while. It is-- It is kind of strange being, you know, like, a famous guy. You know. This is-- This is part of me that's trying to be unfamous, I guess. But it's also go-against-the-rules attitude. You know, is this a big pose? I mean, yes, this is a pose. I mean, am I driving down the street to not get noticed in this thing? I mean, "rebellious" is kind of what this says, I would say. - Have you got a plug-in here? - Wait. So, what exactly are you doing? Well, you'll just hold it above the pickups. Oh, okay. I got you. Yeah! Give me fuel, give me fire Give me that which I desire I got some bad news. Gonna have to-- Change the lyrics? I like this thing, Bob. - What? - I like this thing. I used to kid myself that art was my great escape away from music. And I think I've become increasingly aware that my interest in art, music and Metallica is not separate from anything. You know, where does he feel that there's enough of that kind of gold thing? How come there isn't another strokes up in that black area up there, where it's kind of bare? Where are the starting points and the end points, if you know what I mean? When's a song done? What the f** does that mean, anyway? Done. When's a record done? You know, where does a record start? Where does it end? Where does the process start? Where does the process end? All that type of stuff. Do you know what I mean? - Daddy! - It's really interesting. Yes, sweetie. I don't feel anything great there. I don't think it's that great of a riff either. - How do you hear the riff then? - I like that: And then: Yeah. In nine days, it'll be my two-year anniversary of surfing. It's taken the place of a lot of bad things in my life. So I basically stopped doing the d** that I was doing and cut way back on my drinking. You can't surf when you're hung-over. You can't surf if you've been up all night. Well, at least I can't. There's a sort of individualism, also, about surfing that I like. I mean, when it's your moment, man, that's your moment and yours alone. And no one can help you. For all intents and purposes, we go into this record completely equal. Everybody contributing just as much on the lyric front as James contributing with drum parts and... As soon as you started talking about that, I just like... Yeah. Yeah. You flash back now. Well... You wanna hear it with vocals? Go sing it. You guys had some rules about that before. Quite frankly, I don't give a f**. I'm tired of arguing. You couldn't talk about his lyrics, therefore, he couldn't talk about your drumming. - Right. - Do you know what I mean? And you and him did the solos, so you weren't allowed to comment on the solos. Do you know what I mean? There was, like, rules. Are you telling me that those boundaries are gone now? In the past, what we did was started with a bunch of ideas existing on tape from everybody. Then me and James would sit down and turn those ideas into songs. And then we would tell the rest of the band what to play and when to play and how to play it. There was never any, just, other ways of doing it. You know, it's a whole new thing for me. You know, writing in front of everybody, because I've always just gone into my own head and wrote stuff down, instead of taking things from outside and putting them down. What I was thinking is, is like-- "These are the hands that--" "This is the face that--" So it's, like-- Building a Frankenstein or something? - Yeah. Pretty much. - Building what? - "This is the top of my head that's flat." - A Frankenstein. "These are my bolts..." We're on the same stream of consciousness here. We're just all working on the same creative wavelength. And it's inspiring to me. Now I can further express myself with these lyrics now that, you know, James has opened that door for Lars and I. - This is "clay," right? - Yeah. - Not "clam." - Clay. "These hands finger the clam." These are the eyes That can't see through me This is the tongue That speaks on the inside Make sure you really, like, spit "can't see me." These are the eyes That can't see me! These are the eyes That can't see me These are the hands That drop your trust - "This is the--" - Yeah. This is the eye-- Yeah. This is the eye That can't see me This is the hand That drops your trust These are the boots That kick you around This is the voice of silence no more - What is this about? - Well, I mean, I said Frankenstein. It's not that far off, talking about pieces of things. So, I mean, some kind of monster. Some kind of monster? - You know? - Some kind of monster. - It is-- It is good. - You know what I mean? I like that. Some kind of monster Some kind of monster The monster lives "We come now to create our album of life. Throughout our individual and collective journeys, sometimes through pain and conflict, we've discovered the true meaning of family. As we accomplish ultimate togetherness, we become healers of ourselves and the countless who embrace us and our message. We have learned, and we understand. Now we must share." - So that's just-- - A mission statement. - A what statement? - Mission statement. - Mission? - Yeah, mission. - It's like-- You know, it sets a goal, - Right. so you just can, like, just always be reminded of, you know-- You know, what the ultimate goal is. All right. It's my world, you can't have it It's my world, you can't have it It's my world, you can't have it It's my world, my world You can't have it s**er! Excellent. Come on, little man. Let's go. Skylar, do you want your purse? - Daddy. - I'll come. I'll come. Come, Daddy. Come, Daddy. I don't know how you guys feel, but it's really awesome what we're doing. The four of us can just go in a f**ing room and roll that kind of sh** out of our sleeves. Pull it out of thin air, man. It's so exciting, because that has just never happened before. I couldn't get to sleep last night, because I was still wired from it all. How do you feel? You don't seem really psyched about it. What the hell. - How's it going? Good to see you. - Yeah, thank you. - How many bears did you k**? - Two. Russia's f**ed up. You know, it was like, you put a bottle of water here on the table. That was it, a bottle of vodka sitting there. - Did you drink vodka? - Hell, yeah. - You did? - What else is there to drink? As soon as you got there, it was like, "Na zdoroviya!" Na zdoroviya! That's a pretty big bear. - Is bear edible? - They were no good to eat. That freaked me out when they didn't take any meat. You know, they have been hibernating for three months, so they haven't pissed or sh** or nothing. - Oh, so they're toxic? - Yeah. Third day, I k**ed my bear, and I was just in camp for the rest of the time. I was like, "Oh, my God." - Worked on lyrics? - Yeah. I actually did. That was a lot of time, man. A lot of time. I worked on lyrics in Siberia. How to drink vodka and work on lyrics. Temptation Wreck my head Temptation Make you dead Temptation s**s my soul Temptation Fill no hole Temptation f** you up Temptation No, no, no, no I can't say no Can't say no No No No, no, no Can't say no Oh, no I can't say no Go away Leave me be Just leave me be So, what were the reactions you got from those close? I mean, how did the family react? I'm just-- I don't know. Sometimes I'm a real a** about it and just come in and say, "Oh, by the way, I'm going to Russia for two weeks right here." You know, and, "What?" You know. Yeah, I'm getting better at that, you know, because that was the most I missed my family ever. - You know? - Right. And it was, you know, Castor's first birthday I missed. - Right. - And it was-- Of course, we had a little vodka to Castor. Did a little shot for him and everything. But I would've loved to have been able to get ahold of home. Who's here? This is Daddy working. - This is where Dad works? - Yeah. - What does your dad do for work? - Drums. - He plays drums? - Yeah. - Let me play drums. - Is he good at it? - Daddy, wanna play drums? - I played drums a lot today already. I'm okay. You play for a while. - Those guys, - That's very good. you know, their plate is filled with many, many things. And music is just one of the things. - Say, "Bye, James." - Bye, James. Bye, buddy. I chose not to have children and do those kind of things. My music, that's my children. You know? Daddy's gonna stay and work for a little while. But since I decided to do it with music, then that's what I have to fill my time with. Echobrain is one of the projects that I've been working on for years. And now it's come to fruition. And then when it comes to the time where my main cat, James, tells me that basically he couldn't be in a band with me if I did the-- Took this other project to this level. And after years of working together and going on buses and, you know, the stories, man... There was no way that this thing that I was doing could affect the monster of Metallica. I just don't see how it could. And so-- And saying things like that, I couldn't accept that kind of limited acceptance. I also know that this relationship is not over. You know, he'll-- It'll come around again at some point. You guys will make contact. At that time the managers suggested that we have a psychotherapist come in, a man that meets with pro-ball teams, you know, big-ego, big-dollar guys that can't get along but have to make some kind of entity flow so everybody else and everybody can make their money. And I actually said: "I think that this is really f**ing lame and weak that we cannot get together. Us. Look, the biggest heavy band of all time. And the things we've been through, and decisions we've made about squillions of dollars and squillions of people. And this, we can't get over this?" Was it more than just the Echobrain thing? Because that's, like, you know, what has been discussed. He felt like he wasn't free enough to do what he needed to do. Since he wasn't getting his creativity out enough in Metallica, he needed to get it out somewhere else. And I totally understand that now. And... On my side of that was, I didn't want him to enjoy that more than Metallica. I didn't want anyone to leave Metallica. I didn't want to feel that we weren't enough or something like that. And it was-- Through my-- I guess the way I learned how to love things was just to choke them to d**h. You know? "Don't go anywhere. Don't leave." You know? "You have to stay here." Okay. Need a pen, none of this pencil sh**. Check it out, man, he can't even f**ing spell it right. "Metllica." We've only been together years. I feel guilty that I'm not inspired all the time. You know, especially when everyone else is. It's like, "Okay." We kind of get to the point where the song is looped twice in the Pro Tools, and I know Bob's gonna hit me up for some kind of lyric ideas. "Oh, sh**." I was, like, dreading the whole process. It's like, "Why are you dreading it? Why don't you just--?" Well, you're dreading it because of what? - Let's get to the fear. - Well, because I didn't have anything. - And so if you didn't have anything-- - Wasn't inspired enough to have something or letting down the team or some vibe like that. One, two, three, five. Say it, I'm lonely, yeah Motherf**ing in my head It's like I'm almost, like, racing against time. There's, like, weird-a** fear of like: "I gotta come up with something myself really quick before somebody else comes up with something for me." And then if I don't like it or don't percent embrace it, then I'm just being a selfish, you know, insular a**hole. It's a fear response. When we're up against a fear, that's the time to move into it, forward. Because there's going to be some kind of genius there or some kind of breakthrough. Motherf**er, yeah Metallica. Metallica. Kirk. Kirk. Kirk. Kirk! - Kirk. - Kirk! - Kirk. - Kirk! - Yes. - Kirk. - James is trying to talk to you. - Sorry, man. Yeah, it's a bit stock. Check it out, guys. I don't know how you feel. I'm in a sh** mood. And I'm not digging it right now. Even last night, I gotta tell you, everybody kind of looked-- I hate to tell you, looked pretty burnt. I agree. And if we don't start earlier and end earlier, I'm just-- I'm not gonna be in a good mood for the rest of this sh**, you know? That was totally weird for me. You hear that, Bob? Why don't you try getting a more solid beat. - Regular. - Oh, well, you can call it regular. - You called it regular. - No, I'm trying not to call it regular, because I know it bugs you when I call it regular. So a little more solid, then. f**! Maybe we should talk about next week. - Well, all next week is therapy. - Yeah. Do we have to do that? Can we sack Phil? I mean, we gotta find-- We gotta find a balance to not-- You know, the Phil stuff's important, and I hope we all feel that that's an investment in the music. It's an important part of the record. Get all holy again Let me just go put one together. Get all holy again - It's just real confusing sounding. - It's just jacking the vocals all up. I mean-- I mean, it's clever and everything. But, I mean, I don't see what it does to the-- I think that's how you hear it, dude. That's fine. I'm just trying to do something different. I mean, I'm-- I'm used to having the drummer do the beat part. You know what I mean? Holding it together. What I'm hearing is... Choose my words carefully here. It's pretty straightforward. And the guitar sh**, it's-- You know, it's a little stock. So I started trying to introduce some kind of edge to it on the drums. Those things we throw out to each other are complete bullsh**. You know? "It sounds too stock. It sounds too normal to me." I mean-- You know what I mean? You're saying this sh** so you can get your point across about doing a drum beat. I mean... You know, it doesn't hold any water. - To you. - It doesn't. I think it's f**ing stock. What--? Which part of that is unclear to you? I think it sounds stock to my ears. I mean, do you want me to write it down? I think-- - Oh, yeah, please write it down. - It feels stock, okay? - I can't hear you. - So l-- No, when you say-- You're telling me what to play, right now. You're telling me, "You should play with what Kirk's doing." - And I'm telling you it's stock. - Dude, fine. You know what, you guys, why don't we just go in and hammer it out, all right, instead of hammering on each other. We're in sh** moods, and we're not gonna get anything done here today. - All you wanna do is pick a fight. - I don't wanna pick a fight. This is so silly. You're just sitting there going: "I'm in a really pissy mood and--" And I f**ing told you straight up that I was! - Right. - And what are you trying to do? I'm not trying to do f**ing sh**. You're just sitting here being a complete dick. You're-- You're really helping matters. You're really good at that. I was straight up with you, and I told you, I'm in a sh** mood. And what have you been doing? f**ing picking at me all night. Come on, guys. We've got better things to do. Yeah, I do. I do. Metallica front man, James Hetfield, has entered a rehabilitation facility to undergo treatment for alcoholism and other undisclosed addictions. In a statement posted on Metallica's official website, the band writes, "James has entered an undisclosed facility, and he will continue to receive treatment until further notice. Until then we have postponed all current activities, including recording sessions for our new album." Metallica, whose hard-partying ways earned them the nickname Alcoholica, have been working on their follow-up to the double disc... I think it's easy to see that, in those days, Metallica brought a kind of physicality to rock 'n' roll. Let's say the Beatles, the Rolling Stones, you know, and all that inspired some of the British rock music that then developed after that. And let's say the metal music and Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath and all of that. And then, out of that again, then, let's say, then came Lars and all of that and being-- So I think that they have certainly a place in all of that, I think. Lars had a very good vision at the time of where he saw that particular-- You know, the metal music going, because he could see it with European ears and eyes maybe. Don't you feel that it's great for you to have your father's perspective on who you are and what you're doing? I think that's incredible. You talk about the lineage... Which we did, we talked a little bit about your grandfather. It's very difficult to admit it, especially with him standing next to me. It's easier to talk about it when he's not in my presence. But... Of course it is. What would you--? What would you say in private? - To who? - To anybody, without him here. Say it. You know, what would it be? Well, I mean, I've already said it to you countless times. Well, have you said it to him? You brought it up. I didn't bring it up. What is it you feel you've said that you're not saying now? I think maybe in some ways some of the-- To me that's-- Fear of status quo comes a little bit from this direction over here. I think that-- I mean, there's nothing worse than when I have to go to him and play the new record and know there's something on there that s**s. And he can see right through that in two and a half seconds flat. Comments on that one? I would say, you know, if you said: "If you were our adviser, what would you say?" Then I would say, "Delete that." I mean-- I mean, I don't know for you guys. For me, it doesn't cut it. You know? - But-- - Interesting. I mean, it's interesting. You know, now-- I mean, other than the people involved here, the only other people who've heard any of this music is Cliff Burnstein. When Cliff Burnstein heard that, he thought that should open the record. Yeah. I mean, that could well be. But I'm pretty sure that-- That I really-- That I really-- I really don't think so. You know? I really don't think so. - Right. - For me, that-- That doesn't sound right or something. You know? Unless I'm a guy that's kind of shouting in some kind of echo chamber. So I think one of our responsibilities here is to act like a band that's still continuing. We're going on. We're doing our exploring. We're exploring ourselves individually, we're exploring our relationships. And we really need to get together, talk about this, act like the band exists, because it does exist. And if we don't do that, then we are the coproducers of the process slipping off the planet. This is a bit of a sh** sandwich, though. What does it--? The unravelling of a band? And then there were two? So a good friend of mine phoned me. And he knew where James was. - Really? - Yeah. He couldn't even imagine James doing anything for six months. I'm prepared for the worst. I'm pretty confident that, you know, we will come together when the time is right. But knowing when that time will come, or not knowing when that time will come, is very, very uncomfortable. I hope that at some point he will come back and try and finish the making of this record. lf... If he walked away from Metallica, I'm not sure that it would surprise me. Say your prayers, little one Don't forget, my son To include everyone I've always felt that James was a softer, more caring, compa**ionate person than he allowed himself to be to most people. I can remember from the Dave Mustaine days, I mean, when him and Dave Mustaine, these guys, they started right away with their big, you know, chests beating and their mannerisms, and the whole thing was very much about this kind of, like, macho-- It was just, like-- I couldn't deal with that stuff. And looking back on, I mean, what was that, years ago, I mean, I just felt so alienated, because it was just so far removed from the upbringing that I come from. Well, here's to you, my friends. But then, at the same time, I'm starting to realizing now that the sort of depressive things that show up as a result of the alcohol and stuff like that, it was just very difficult for him to communicate from the heart. - You want some or not? - And not hide behind a lot of these different fronts. Whether it's alcohol, that gives him a false sense of strength or the front man in Metallica or, you know, macho bullsh** and all that stuff. All right, now you guys are drunk, and I'm drunk. Now this is the fun part, man. I want to help him. I want to be there for him. And I want to do the best I can to make him the best person that he can be. So I don't know how the f** it's gonna play out. It's really healthy for me to be here without any pressure or anything related to the band or anyone who would remind me of the band. And to recognize what's real. Our sessions with Phil really stirred up a lot of things in James that he thought that he needed to address. Mentally, it's really taken-- Taken its toll on myself, you know, and I'm very worried about him. And, you know, whenever you check yourself into rehab, they don't-- They don't focus on, you know, the fact that you're an alcoholic. They go much deeper, you know? I mean, they go way deep. They crack you open and then spill you out and examine all the things that are on the table. I've spoken to him a few times, and, you know, I know he's having a rough trip. No matter how bad it gets, eventually things seem to sort themselves out, sooner or later. Whether it's good or bad, they sort themselves out. I watched the people around the world say what a great guitar player Kirk is and what a piece of sh** I am. And that I got kicked out of Metallica. And I wasn't good enough for them. And that I was a loser. And I've had to deal with that for almost years. It's a dreadful experience. It's been hard, Lars. It's been hard to watch everything that you guys do and you touch turn to gold and everything I do f**ing backfire. And I'm sure there's a lot of people that they would consider my backfire complete success. You know? And am I happy being number two? No. You know? You're just now encountering something I've been going through years. I've never had a chance to be able to tell you without talking to Lars, the guy in Metallica. Never talked to my little Danish friend again. You know? I remember the day you and I talked about digging a hole in f**ing dirt and smoking hash through the ground. That to me is the stuff that's, like-- You know? And we've never had very many moments like that. Do I feel some guilt? Yes, I do. But at the same time, it's difficult for me to comprehend that the only thing that you feel when you look back on the last years is rooted in the Metallica thing. Okay. Have you ever thought what--? What I've been through? I think I've had an awareness of the pain I caused you. That's not what I said. Okay. Do you have any idea--? - Of what I put you through. - No, no, no, what I went through. I mean, people hate me because of you. You know, I walk down the street, and I hear some piece of sh** say "Metallica" at me, and they do that to taunt me. I mean, when I would hear Metallica on the radio, I would be like, "God, I have to turn this off," because I just keep thinking, "I f**ed up!" Right. I've been waiting for this day for a long time. You know? And by no means is it done because somebody else very important is not here. Right. Do I wish it was all over again, and you guys woke me up and say: "Hey, Dave, you know what? You need to go to AA"? Yeah. I'd give anything for that chance. Is there any last words you wanna say to everybody out there? Metal up your a**! Okay, thank you. This is Donna Davis, and this is Metallica. This is, like, a pretty b**hin' club to play the first f**ing gig. - Yeah. - How do you guys feel? - Stoked. - Freaking out. - Freaking out? - Totally. Totally. It's un-f**ing-believable is what it comes down to. Can I say that? - You can say whatever you want. - It's f**ing unbelievable. Echobrain. Yeah. I don't know, I just-- All of a sudden this became such a big production. I don't understand. It's like all of a sudden, like-- I get one phone call, it's like everybody and their f**ing brother are in town. I thought it'd be Jason, like, playing with his new band in front of, you know, like, drunks down at some bar or something. And now, I guess, to my own ignorance or something, l-- That's what-- I guess that's what I wanted it to be. So now I'm realizing that supposedly it's a little more of a big deal than that. - Hey, what's happening, man? - What's going on? - Sounded good, man. Very good. - Thanks. Thanks, man, thanks. - Awesome. Awesome. - Oh, thanks. Right on. - I'm Lars. How you doing? - Nice to meet you. Where's Jason? - Jas? - I don't know. I think he went back to-- I think he already f**ing bailed. - He went back to-- - Really? Nice. Go back to say hey, and he's, like, f**ing gone. Elvis has left the building. There's Zach. Hey, Zach. See, he's even blowing me off. Jason blows me off. Zach blows me off. How quick we become yesterday's news. No-- No kidding. See, there's a guy in an Echobrain T-shirt. Yeah, that's Steve over there. He works at the studio with us. Well, he is. - Really? - Yeah. I remember that guy. I remember him. He worked at the studio. - Which guy? - Over there. - The guy in the red shorts? - No, the guy in the black that's walking across right now. Kessel. Todd. He works at the studio too, doesn't he? - Who? - Todd over there. I'm sure they're all here, Bob. I mean, the only two people in the Bay Area not working for him is me and you. Hetfield's gonna freak. I'm in f**ing hell. This whole gig has brought all of this on. Yes, it has. It's made me feel like-- - You really wanna come clean. - It made me feel like such a loser. I mean, I can't hold my band together, you know. I start records, I don't finish them. I f**ing-- Jason is the future. Metallica's the past. I've never had a break like this in years. Do you know what I mean? And just-- What's been kind of getting me is just not knowing. You know what I mean? Not knowing and not hearing, it just eats away at you. - Kirk talked to him. - I talked to James today. What did he say? He basically said that, you know, he just-- His family's the priority right now, and he needs time to work on his family before he can reach out to his other family, being us. And that he loves us, and he just needs for us to understand that he needs time. And he also went on about how difficult it was talking to you about it, because he felt pressured. And, you know, he spoke about how you always need to be in control of the situation or in control of the schedule or whatever. And he said that this is a time he needs complete control of the situation. And he said, you know, all the Marc Reiters and the Bob Rocks, all that stuff, you know, just has-- "I can't think of that right now." So, you know, I got the feeling that he kind of lumps in your relationship with the business side of things, which was actually really surprising to me. But I think that's-- You know, that explains-- I think that explains a lot on why he hasn't spoken to you. We're just in limbo, and the longer James chooses to stay away from dealing with us, the further we drift apart. And I just feel so disrespected. And that's the key thing. Was the future of the group ever in doubt? Even when James went into rehab, do you think? Lars and I, we were wondering when James was going to finally feel like he was in a situation where he can come back to the band. And after a certain amount of months, you know, Lars and I started to think: "Well, is he ever gonna come back to the band?" And that was a really big question on our plates. Whether or not, you know, he wanted to come back. James wrote something in the new issue of our magazine, So What! He wrote a kind of a little handwritten note. That note was probably the most heartfelt thing that I'd ever seen come from his mind. Tomorrow is shaping up, or is gearing itself up to be, yes, the first sit-down with one James Hetfield post-rehab. Why are we filming this? I don't know. We're in very different places. Or at least I am in a very different place than I was from the Presidio. That's a huge understatement. So we just have to find that if-- You know, if the movie will be as intense, you know. To me there was a lot of intrusion, and I kind of went with it and felt-- I felt uncomfortable. I felt uncomfortable with it. You know, a boom following me around, and it just felt like I was in the spotlight all the time. And I didn't-- I guess I don't really like that feeling. While we were in the Presidio filming you guys playing, - did you feel it then too? - Yeah. It was-- It was pretty much all the time. Do you think you're in a better place now? - We gotta find some... - I'm definitely in a better place. Some place that makes you feel comfortable. And the last thing we wanna do is have it impede on your music, because that's more important than anything. You know, one answer may be there-- Maybe there shouldn't be a film. I mean, that's the range of possibilities that we should really think about, because, I mean, why do you guys want a film? Even you said you hope that the film is made. I mean-- That's a big question, because, for me, it was really just-- It came along with being in Metallica. "Hey, we're gonna do this." "Oh, okay." That's part of this, all of this... The bigness of Metallica, and I'm kind of tired of it. You might look at it as a friend. To me, it's been a beast. And it's s**ed a lot of me into it. You were maybe the keeper of the beast at one point. You know, because you were the champion of that fifth-- That entity. And, of course, you gotta find the right balance between what everybody's personal needs are, but if Metallica collectively decides to do this, then I think Metallica can make it happen. I don't know. That scares me again. Metallica is three individuals. And three individuals have to decide if it's good to do. But I still think that the priority is the collective until all the people involved in the collective say that the priority is the individual. And so far, you're the only one that said the priority is the individual. I haven't said that. He hasn't said that. I haven't heard him say that. So I feel that it's still-- There's still an unbalance there. We met from, like, maybe, I don't know, six or eight weeks before we actually picked up the project again. That was when we came in, and it was the first time we actually used this studio, HQ. Anyway, here we are. HQ. Right on. Well, we're here. And the camera's here. And my friend the boom is here. - Hovering. - Yeah. Cool. Do you want me to play the music? Yeah, let's go. I'm-- I'll put the big speakers on. I was afraid to pick up a guitar and fearful of what would happen. Would I not like it? Would I love it? Would I not be able to write anything cool? Would I write just recovery stuff? James. It was probably the best sound I've ever heard in my life, just the fact that you were playing guitar in here. - Hey, Zach. - Right on, brother. Play a riff. - What? - Nothing. See? It feels pretty good, doesn't it? - Yeah. - It feels like the next day. A year later, the next day. It will be interesting working on this schedule, because we really haven't. It's gonna be great. And kind of the overview is, you know, the less time we have here, the more productive we'll be, in a way, you know? It's like we're more focused on getting the stuff done. That all sounds really good. Okay. Now, let's revisit it in a week. So I think that, don't talk it, walk it. At some point, we are gonna have to work a little harder. - Yes. - You know, when that feels right. What do you mean? What does that mean? - What does that mean? - Yeah. When you say harder, does that mean more hours? You know, if we can go deep real quick, be intense... I spoke up because, "What does that mean, we have to, you know, do eight hours now?" - And I got fearful right then. - That's okay. I mean, it's like... Yeah. - To do eight hours? - No. Any lyric ideas? I'm searching for-- Searching for doughnuts. - Searching for doughnuts - Searching for doughnuts What was the whole thing from yesterday? - The Buddhist-- - Guarantee-- What? No, the Buddhist thing that you had. Birth is pain, life is pain, d**h is pain. The cycle of suffering. It's called samsara. Where are you with this, James? Somewhere else. Where's today's sweat going? "I've worn out being afraid. My endless parade of fear that I've constantly made." "My lifestyle determines my d**hstyle. A rising tide that pushes to the other side." I've worn out being afraid Endless parade Of fear that I've constantly made Frantic tick tick tick tock I gladly trade Oh, I need know the answer Where I'll be laid I can't find it - It just-- It doesn't work. - The great-- You did one great thing. You went: You did this one syncopated thing. Do the whole verse like that. I've worn out always being afraid An endless stream of fear That I've made Frantic tick tick tock I'll gladly trade It's weird. It's weird. And it works. No, but the second time you felt really comfortable with it. - Right. - Oh, by the way, it's quarter to . I gotta get rolling, guys. Sorry. I feel like the bad guy saying, "I gotta go because it's : ." If we all know, and we all do know, that : is kind of the stop time, then, I don't know, then I won't feel like the heel here, saying: "I gotta go eat dinner with my kids," you know. Because I have a feeling I'm gonna walk out of here, and you're gonna go in there and listen to this stuff, - and it's like, that's not right. - That's not. I mean, if I wanna listen to it, I'll go and listen to it. But we should at least listen to it-- But I know you'll sit there and start talking with Bob. Maybe Bob doesn't wanna sit in there, and when I'm gone, things get talked about and decisions are made. And I feel I walk into something that's already kind of decided. And it's a total uphill battle for me a lot of times. I don't like that feeling. Well, that's, like, just like the last years, - Yeah. - for me. Well, let's talk about this tomorrow, then, all right? - Or do you wanna take time out--? - No, I don't have time right now, because it's past . It's hard to introduce structure into this, and I'm trying. So, what do you think, Lars? Can we hear the song from yesterday? That we all heard together? How is that different? Because we all heard it together already. - He wants to be part of everything. - Was I in there? Yes, you were. We all heard it together yesterday. - You came in. - All right. As long as you don't talk about it. - Is that a way around it, or--? - That is definitely a way around it. How about if we just save up the tension? Seriously. I mean, that's okay, because tension produces results. I'm excited to see what you learned here. Up and back. Up and freeze. What is this called? Arabesque. Super proud of you, sweetie. I'm so glad I got to see it. I'm working on-- Really hard, on being the best dad and father and husband I can be. And the best me. You worked hard. I don't wanna lose any of the stuff I have. I know it could all go away at one time, and that's a tough part of life. And then-- And it's just-- It's a total rebirth for me, looking at life in a whole new way. You know, all the other drinking and all the other junk that I was stuck in, it was so predictable, so boring. I'm out there looking for excitement in all this stuff. The results are the same, man. I wake up the next day somewhere in some bed, I don't know who this person is next to me, and I'm drunk, completely hung-over and have a show to do. And the result is the same. You know? When life now is pretty exciting. You don't know what's gonna happen when you're kind of clear and here and in the now. In the moment. My lifestyle determines My d**hstyle A rising tide That pushes to the other side My lifestyle determines My d**hstyle A rising tide That pushes to the other side I think those two feel the best to me. It's a tough one to decide. They all kind of got some charm, don't you think? Yeah, I'd be interested to hear the first one. From the first take. Well, let's play it. - Is it okay? - Are we allowed? - Yeah, we are. - Do we have--? - We never really settled that, did we? - We didn't settle it. Yes. We're allowed. Well, I'd like to hear it. Feel free to leave the room, whoever doesn't want to be part of that. I felt like it was an agreement. We're gonna work from to and then we would not work. Well, if Lars and I listen to something or go through the Presidio stuff, it's not because we wanna do something behind your back. It's for you. And basically what I heard is, "No, I can't do that." - What the f** is that? - I don't know, my mind gets lopsided. The more it goes in a different direction, the harder it is. The harder it is to get that back. What is it you have to get back? Some control. Some sense of involvement in the band. When I was running this morning, I was thinking about seeing you today, and the word "f**" just comes up so much. Seriously, it's really true. - Is that in anger? - No, just, "f**!" "f**." I just think you're so f**ing self-absorbed. And what makes it worse is that you always talk about... You always talk about me. You use the word "control" and "manipulation" a lot. I think you control on purpose, and I think you control inadvertently. I think you control by the rules you always set. I think you control by how you always judge people. I think you control by your absence. I think you control all of this even when you're not here. I don't understand who you are. I don't understand the program. I don't understand all this stuff, okay? I realize now that I barely knew you before. And all these rules and all this sh**, man, this is a f**ing rock 'n' roll band. I don't want f**ing rules. I understand that you need to leave at . I respect it. But don't tell me I can't sit and listen to something with Bob at : if I want to. What the f** is that? You know, I don't wanna end up like Jason, okay? I don't want to be pushed away. I don't want it to happen twice. Let's do it, and let's f**ing do it full-on or let's not do it at all. f**. See? f**. f**! f**! Yeah! - Yeah! - Metallica. Yeah! Rock 'n' roll. Let's hear it for Elena! We're not anywhere near getting any issues resolved. Well, let's get them. That's what we're here to do. I don't know. I guess the playing part, being in the room, and then mainly being in the room with Lars, playing music together. I guess I had higher expectations, and I don't know, maybe I'm disappointed in myself. Maybe... I don't know. You wanna talk about that? I mean, what does that mean? I'm not enjoying being in the room with you playing. Searching Seek and destroy Searching Seek and destroy Searching, yeah Seek and destroy If you are not having any fun, let me let it be known to you that I'm not having a lot of fun either. But I've-- I am not interested in playing music with you if you're not happy in there. I just don't want to be a-- Become a f**ing parody. Okay? So if you're not happy playing music with me: Is there enough that connects us to hold on for a way through this? I don't know. There are moments where I really doubt it. Really doubt it. I'm glad you said that. Because I really, deep down, feel sometimes that it's just... There's just some empty, just... Just an ugly feeling inside. Just... I don't know. How much work do we gotta put into this? - Then you're doing the: - Yeah. Let's do our little roundtable thing right now, quickly. Everybody's gotta participate. Lars, come on. Hey, Castor, why don't you look at all the boys-- The men, I should say. And say bye to everybody. Bye, Castor. Thank you for coming. - Is Daddy going bye? - No, your dada's staying here, okay? - Bye, guys. - See you. So, what's the deal? How does everybody feel about what they heard? The chorus lyrics will definitely work in that feel. - Yeah. - That kind of intro bit that's on there. - What about you? What do you think? - It's good. You think it's good? Was there anything in particular that you...? No, I wasn't paying attention that detailed. That's just-- It's a lot of good stuff. I can take you back, when me and him were alone in my room, in listening to the new wave of British heavy-metal singles. As soon as there was somebody else in the room, it just became this, like-- It just had a very different energy to it. - Is there any of that that's usable? - Yeah. - That's a f**-- That's a f**ing b**h. - Let's do another version of it, okay? The first time I got a real awareness of it was when Mustaine came into the picture. When James was with Mustaine, he became like he never really cared about me. One time during the recording of the Ride the Lightning record, where me and him went out and-- So beers later, it was like, "Oh, dude, I love you." But it could never have materialized until it got to that -beer point and we were alone. That was good. Are you sure I don't have to play it again? Yeah, I'm sure. It's good practice, though. - For what? - The road. - When? - A couple years. From day one, it's been competitive. And in a way, that's what has made Metallica what it is. That's what's driven us further. What feels good to you? I don't know. I'm gonna try a bunch more. Can you try maybe like a: Almost like a strum. My parents split when I was or . And then my mom pa**ed on when I was . The only thing I felt that I really had, at that point, was music. My wanting to keep everything under control, and, you know, it's out of a fear of my abandonment issues. I'm afraid to get close to people because I don't know how to do it. I don't know how you're supposed to do it. - Cool. - That last one was pretty good. Yes. That's the first amp I ever owned. That right there. I think we have it. Okay. Okay. Now we gotta talk about it. You started talking about the idea of the guitar solo, as we have known it, maybe being something that was a little outdated and maybe reintroducing some riff-o-rama things. But can I say something that I think is bullsh**? This whole f**ing solo out, you know, dates the whole thing. That's so bullsh**. You know? If you put a guitar-- If you don't play a guitar solo in one of these songs, that dates it to this period. And that cements it to a trend that's happening in music right now. I think that's stupid, and I think it's totally trendy. I know that's not what I said. It's always been about, like, where could it go that's kind of new and interesting, instead of just repeating something from the past. I'm not interested in playing traditional guitar solos anymore. - You know, that's just-- For me, it's-- - And you told me that. It's just boring, you know. To me, if you can add a colour to the song that satisfies you and works for the song, then that's what we should do with it. But I don't wanna get in the position where it's like, we put something down on the tape to satisfy your ego, my ego, Lars' ego or James' ego. I think it should serve what's going down. Like, in other words, there shouldn't be, like, a rule of no solos. There shouldn't be a rule of solos. It should be-- And I agree. I mean, it really is, to me, all about serving the song, and, you know, I feel much better about that, because, you know, I just don't wanna follow certain trends that I see other bands following. We don't necessarily have to stick to our traditional way, but we also don't have to follow that trend. I'm actually very, very comfortable with my role in the band, you know? I've actually always been very, very comfortable with my role in the band. I'm not a really egotistical person. In fact, I've-- I spend a large amount of my time trying to, like, downplay my ego and get it even smaller and smaller. That's part of my beliefs. I try to be an example of being egoless to the other guys. Hi! This is Kirk from Metallica. And if you want money, you'll listen to us. And then some other guy's gonna give you cash. Twenty years' worth of integrity, and, you know, credibility and all that. The next five minutes is gonna change all that. "Hey, man, keep it locked right here, and--" What? "We'll help you score $ ." This is James from Metallica. Survey says, you need cash. Your money-shot to snatch a bunch of cash is coming soon. In order to s** both nationwide radio chains off, we are now standing here having to do this f**ing stupid thing. Up to motherf**ing grand, goddamn it! Win a bunch of money. And walk away. This is stupid! Sharpen that booger-picking finger and be the th-- Hey, it's Lars from Metallica. I'm about to stick grand up your a**. One dollar at a time. I was telling Lars last night that was hard for me to see - you guys squirm like you were. - Yeah. Because I wanted to say anything, and it's not my place to say anything. I can't imagine Bono or the Edge going on the radio, saying what you guys are being asked to say. - Dad, can I have one of those? - Go for it. Should we catch up on all this radio stuff? Okay. Now, they're the biggest chain in America. You know, it's like stations or something. And if you guys think it's crappy, as a radio thing, those guys think it's good. I mean, that's their idea. We didn't come up with that. So strategically-- Why are we doing it, then? Just to make them happy? Yes. That's exactly what they're doing. And they won't say, "f** you, you never do anything for us. We're gonna f** you on the next record. " People would do that? "Because you didn't give us something, we're gonna f** you?" Yes, James. They would. I'm not saying that they can always get away with it. That's so funny. - It wouldn't stop them from trying. - I'm glad it's your world. I understand the "wash your back, you wash mine" thing. "Wash my--" "I'll wash your back so you don't stab mine," - Right. - is more like it. Okay. Why don't we get off the phone, then. Well, you know, we should have this conversation some more next week. - Later. - Okay. - See you. - Bye-bye. That's insanity. "We're gonna hurt you because we didn't get something." I wash your back so you don't stab mine. Well, that's a good line for a song. I guess I just want something to rhyme with "mine" right now. Wash your back so you won't... Wash your back so you won't stab mine. Step on a landmine. Keep you in my back pocket. Blind leading the blind. I'll rip out your f**ing spine. Okay. All right. Wash your back So you won't stab mine Get in bed with your own kind Wash your back So you won't stab mine Get in bed with your own kind - That was really good. - Are you pulling my mike? - That was really good. - It was. - Really good. - So then, the part-- Landmine Landmine No landmines No landmines Rock lobster Wash your back So you won't stab mine Get in bed with your own kind There's a witch at the foot of my bed. Did you--? Did you hear what Lars said? He says, "Yeah, Kirk stopped reading, and I stopped moping." - That's what you said. - That's not what I said. - What'd you say? - I said, I stopped sulking. Oh, sulking. sh**! In the months since he's parted company with Metallica, ex-ba**ist Jason Newsted has been apparently more musically active than his former band mates. While Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich was pursuing Napster, and singer James Hetfield battled alcoholism, Newsted hooked up in the studio with legendary metal band Voivod. Our own lann Robinson got all the answers on Newsted's new ventures and the current state of his relationship with Metallica. A good friend hinted that Jason would really like to join the band again. Man, I popped his little bubble for a second and-- I don't know, man. I'll be quite honest. I think the heart and soul of Metallica, from this point on, and has been for a while, since Cliff died, is the three of you guys. I think you will never, ever, ever find a permanent ba** player. My opinion. There was also tragedy in rock this week. Metallica's ba**ist Cliff Burton was k**ed in a bus accident while the band was on tour in Sweden. He was . Metallica ba**ist Cliff Burton was buried on Tuesday in the San Francisco area. Remaining members of the band... Jason Newsted. He replaced Cliff Burton, who was k**ed in an auto accident in September. Jason told... It pisses me off that Cliff left us because we'd never have that initial four guys just going on and on. You know, when I talk about it, it's like that happened for a reason. And we're-- We're dealing with that. I gotta capitalize on what's being said right here. The Cliff message that I get from him to you guys is, that treasure the three of you. Treasure every moment that the three of you have. And the four of you have. You know, treasure-- Treasure it because you never know. And one of the sad things that happens when somebody dies is that people have never taken the time along the way to really embrace each other every day. You know? It's a sin if you-- You know, if you let that go. Phil has been like an angel for me. He's been sent to help me. And, you know, I've got my own thoughts about all that, you know, a father figure, the dad that never was and all of that, that it makes me comfort-- It comforts me. But also, we don't want to have our hand held through life. We'd like to be able to stand proud ourselves and move on. There'll be a time for that. And we just have to discuss when that is. You know, there is purpose behind the way I do it. I think it's very effective. I have to decide whether I'm going to push it or not. It sometimes is a distraction. So, what part of our career are you gonna manage today? I thought I'd do the whole thing, since you guys can't do anything. If you guys could run something, then it would be easy to step back. Because you can't, you know... Is today the first day you're gonna play drums? - I don't wanna get into that. - Okay. No. I don't think I'm gonna do the drums. - I think it's time-- - Maybe I should. - Yeah. I think it's time. - Although, actually, I'm kind of... Well, it's about the only thing you haven't done. - I haven't sung. - Right. We got to a point where we sat down and told Phil that we wanted to scale Phil back to every other week. And we were getting ready to implement that four weeks from when the decision was made. And two weeks after the decision was made, we had to sit Phil down and say that we were not ready to do that. Because we got really... I don't know. Scared, I guess. There were some things that were going on at the time that, really, Phil helped with a lot. Live from the news leader in Northern California. NewsCenter . Night Beat. The Metallica v. Napster battlefield moved to San Mateo today. Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich delivered a list of screen names of people who have downloaded the band's music online. Metallica is suing Napster, a website that provides software which allows people to download music on the Internet without paying. Metallica drummer Lars Ulrich testified before a Senate committee earlier this month that Napster has "hijacked our music without asking." The band said that over people are downloading its music for free. A group of former Metallica fans staged a protest at the courthouse. I don't want anything to do with Metallica anymore. I'm gonna be trashing their CDs. I took all my CDs, and I'm gonna be destroying them. Are you proud of what you achieved with Napster? Are you proud in hindsight of what you pulled off? Being the most hated man in rock 'n' roll? Yeah, that was-- That was my goal. I got an idea. I'm kind of bored this summer. Everything's going a little too well. Let's see, I wanna turn myself into the most hated f**ing a**hole in rock 'n' roll, yeah. Like, good afternoon, my name is, you know, like, Lars Ulrich, from Metallica. I worked for years to get where I am today. Me and my buddy James Hetfield here have shed blood, sweat and beer to get where we are today. Beer, good. Who do you think you are? I mean, just, you know, because you, like, made us rich, you think you can get free stuff? Songs that we spent upwards of, you know, like to hours writing and recording. Our team of lawyers and researchers have your names, and you Napster users, we'll see you in jail getting gang-raped. Some minutes I have all this strength, and I can stand there and just go, "f** you, f** you, f** you. I'm bulletproof, it doesn't matter. I got Hetfield and Hammett, and we're a team, and f** you." You know what I mean? Five minutes later, it means nothing, and I just become really vulnerable. You know, we never sat there and thought about where Napster was gonna end up. We never sat there and talked about what shots we were gonna take. We just sat there and thought about, this was something we had to do. So wait a sec. That was awesome! It's like I had to stay on the course that I was on and stay to my convictions, but it was eating away at me inside. And then maybe it could go lyrically to: "What difference did l/we actually make?" It's a great question. Great. And if that could-- It's like if that question could get thrown out there, but remain unanswered, I think that's really strong. All the shots I take What difference did I make? All the shots I take I spit back at you "All the shots I spit back at you." That's awesome, dude. f**ing... - f** me. - And the "what difference did I make" - fit right in. - Really awesome. Right on. These two kicks, are they the same as--? - It's different. - Okay. Go to the master. What really gets my dick hard is starting on: You know, there. Then these are awesome. Lars, what I wanna know is, do the four of you just go in there and just jam? You're hearing excerpts of three-hour jams. You're hearing-- Look at it as a funnel. You're hearing the very part of the bottom of the funnel. - Right. - You can almost equate - what we're doing now to arranging. - You're like Pollock, the painter. He is. He's Pollock, the funnel-arranger guy. It's gonna sound f**ing amazing at the stadium with people f**ing raising the evil horns up to the sky and saying, "Metallica, baby." Oh, can we fast-forward to that right now? I think what I'd like to do is, I'd like to talk about this touring thing that has come up. We're very cognizant of the fact that things have changed for you guys. And they've changed for many, many reasons. Why can't we figure out what works best for everybody in their personal lives, plus what works best as a business? What if you just do a stadium tour, where you play Friday, Saturday and Sunday, and then you go home the rest of the week? I just wanna put out that, you know, it might be a kind of uncomfortable vibe here because people might not know how I'm feeling about touring, and I don't really know either. You know? Until I get there. And, you know, I wanna tour. I don't wanna fall off the wagon, you know. I don't wanna go out there-- I don't know what it's like. Doing things for the first time again, as I think I've said before, it's a little scary. I don't know about you, but it's, like, summertime. And to me, it's f**ing beer-drinking weather, yeah? Yeah. Well, I'm gonna take time right now and f**ing have myself one, and I just wanna say cheers to all you guys and f**ing thanks for coming down and getting nutty with us. Cheers. I blew my voice out on the "Black Album," doing "So What," the cover song. And we had a bunch of Metallica songs to do after that. And I went to this coach. I didn't-- I didn't wanna go. I was scared. I thought he was gonna make me sing operatic. But I went there, and we just did warm-up stuff like this, and this is the tape. And I've had this same tape for-- Since then. - Was there a turning point? - Yeah. I think when we had accumulated what we thought to be, you know, a great kind of... I don't know, cross section of material, we took stock, so to speak. The only songs that are gonna make it to the album are the songs that all four of us vote on. And out of -plus songs, only four songs got all four votes. Sweet Amber Sweet Amber Sweet Amber How sweet are you? How sweet does it get? How sweet are you? How sweet does it get? - Yeah, right. - Wow. I mean, there's some explosive playing. The sh** just takes off. It's like you guys have spent all this time to come back to find yourselves. - That's what it sounds like to me. - All right, to go. Yeah, how are you doing? Do you wanna hear more? - Wanna hear more? - I'm just getting started. Squeeze all within my hands Choke within my hands I'm madly in anger with you I'm madly in anger with you I'm madly in anger with you Time, time, times like this - Boy - You got what you're coming to - So - Destruct the power within all Across your spine So that gets broken too Temptation, fill no hole No No, no Temptation You know, the first four songs you've played me, all pretty much knocked me out. Okay? But if you've got it going, you want it to hammer all the way through. You want people to be able to really listen and say: "Jesus Christ, there's no letting up from these guys. There's no f**ing letup." f** ballads. You know? There definitely is some Presidio stuff that I felt, maybe-- You gotta an*lyse it. Maybe you're watering it down in some way. That's all. - It's your call. - Yeah. I know that... "Temptation," I remember writing that thing. It came out. It flowed, totally, instantly. "Temptation" kind of sums up all the lyrics that are in this new kind of project. So-- And that-- And it's cool because that was done long before recovery and all that, so... I mean, I can tell that you're singing your heart out. You're definitely wearing your heart on your sleeve on that song. To me, it's more like a jam. Is there a song in there? Potentially. You know, there's almost nothing there that can't be turned into something better than it is or something that could probably get pretty f**ing close to being something on a Metallica record. You know, but then it just goes away from what the purpose-- At least, what I see the purpose being today, which is show up with what you-- You know, what are your A-pluses? You know? Well, when I hear Lars talk about "We can whip anything into decent shape," I agree. And we did that on Load and ReLoad. And this is us trying to choose before we take it to those extremes, you know? - Exactly. - That makes sense. That was a pretty major thing that I think Lars and I clicked on together, that, wow, I'd heard him, and he heard me. Oh, it's like, "Oh, okay." It's like it takes the cutting edge off of it or the personal attack off of it, you know? Things are a lot less dramatic than they used to be within the chemistry of the four of us. Less head games, abuse of power and soap-opera bullsh**. But can we just do one thing? For lack of a better word, when it comes in with the drums, I just want you to scream, "f**," as hard as you can f**ing scream. f** Okay. It should be slower. It should be more like: I want four of them. Do it again. Lars is selling paintings because he's ready to move on to the next ten years or next decade or next phase of his life. And a lot of what these paintings and a lot of what this house represents is the last ten years versus a husband and father of two. He's getting rid of some pretty major and important pieces in the majority of his collection. He's wiping the slate clean. Midnight, New York City. One last look at the paintings. Oh, well. - It's a celebration. - This is a celebration. - Of how far you've come. - It's a celebration. With Phil Towle. This is a celebration. Some paintings have visited us for a while. And now we wanna share them with other people. - Okay? - Right, yeah. That's it. - It's a choice. - Okay, cool. I never looked at it as an investment, but I always looked it as-- Versus some of the other guys that may be, like, taking a big pile of money and parking it in the bank, I would always, like, take a big pile of money and park it on my wall. I can just feel some of the adulation that other people have thrown at these paintings, and that makes me proud. I've never been this close to it. These are great paintings, whether they sell for a dollar or for $ million. The only thing that matters is what pleasure and what feeling you get out of that moment you have with that painting. And it's never been about dollars and cents. It's always been about something greater than that. But, f**, they do look awesome. I mean, f**. It's been a good time. - And it will be a good time. - To the future. I feel better about this than I thought I would, actually. - It's weird, I don't know why. - Yeah. sh**. $ . $ on the telephone. It's two of you in the room, selling right, fair warning at $ . Jean Paul, $ . Twenty-one is the moderna on the reverse, the Jean-Michel Basquiat showing on the screen there on my right. - All right, here we go. - Be strong, my friend. $ . At $ . million. . million. $ . $ . - Can we get more co*ktails? - $ -- - . - . . . - . - $ million. - Come on, . - For you, sir, $ . $ . And selling at $ million. Brett, yours at million. - All right. - Hi. It went well. I got myself drunk to numb the pain. But it went well. I'm happy. Like, let's talk about the zone for a minute. Because there is a way to help a person-- Persons get in a zone. To-- I mean, you could consider seriously doing some meditative, or apply the meditative principles to music, all right? I don't want this to sound too way-out, but if you do that, the four of you are out there, and you do it anyway, unconsciously, you do a musical meditation by starting to jam with each other. I just think, no matter how you look at it, I've been making records a very long time, and it really comes down to how much work you put in and how much... You know, it's just tough. Sometimes it's just-- It's just tough work. And I like to stretch the frontiers of what people accept, okay? And I understand about that. And l-- I don't want, for my mind, to settle... I guess I'm not gonna be playing today, then, huh? Well, I'm gonna go out and make phone calls. So everybody's... You know, we've had a fabulous few weeks with a lot of great productivity, a lot of really good stuff going on. The more we feel good about ourselves and each other and the higher we ascend, the more challenging it will be to our psyches. You know, I understand it. I embrace it and all that stuff, but sometimes it just bugs me. I think the-- That thing was kind of bugging me yesterday. All of them around the studio, it was just kind of, like-- That way of thinking, it just doesn't work for me all the time. And I was a little pissed off at it, because right now in my life it's not really working for me. - I'm glad to know that's how you feel. - I agree with that wholeheartedly. And if you feel that way and wish to share that more directly, - I'd appreciate that too. - Rather than tearing the signs down? - Yeah. - We pay him $ a month to be pretty much available at our beck and call. So when this record's done, do we want to collectively end the $ -a-month, full-on thing? I'm afraid he's under the impression that he's, like, in the band, you know? Yeah. And I see him coming on the road, maybe, for a week. But after that I don't-- I don't see him holding our hand any further than that. So is that something we wanna present to him, then? - Yeah. I think that-- - Okay. I think it's something-- Yeah, I think it's something we need to do for our own well-being. Yeah, because I'm feeling uncomfortable. Yeah, hello? Hello, hello. Are they on the phone? They're on the phone, and they need you. Oh, okay. - James Hetfield is in the room. - Hey there. - Hey, James, how you doing? - Pretty good. I'll let Marc do the talking. He's the one who's been talking to MTV. Okay, this afternoon, the official offer came in for ICON. - Assuming you wanna do it. - Let's do it. Cool, man. Yeah, I'm jazzed about it. The only thing that you guys are required to do is show up for rehearsal and then show up for the show on the rd, and at the end of the show you guys take the stage and perform a little bit. - So, what's Jason's role in all this? - What? Who? Cliff? I mean, I don't think Jason has any role. He lost his icon status when he left Metallica. - Nice one, Cliff. - Thank you. I think MTV would like the fact that this would most likely be the introductory performance of Metallica with a new ba** player, whether it's the new member or whoever. When is it supposed to be? May what? May rd. Saturday, May rd. See, that means you'd have to hire someone by the nd. - Okay. - I think it can happen. You'd be required to be in Los Angeles for all of two days... Because we didn't get a new ba** player, I think a lot of people thought maybe that we were having trouble finding one. We never started looking for a new ba** player until two months ago. We worked on ourselves, identified what part can we work on so when someone else steps in, it's clean. They're not stepping in our sh**, you know? All right, thinking about ba** players, finally? So we're gonna need a fourth member. You know, we know you're a great ba** player. It's the vibe. We need to make sure... Jason kind of triggered this whole thing a couple of years ago. And I can't believe it's been two years. And now we've gone through some... We realized that we kind of wanted somebody who was, like, our age. Somebody who had been around the block a couple times. We've grown a lot, man. These three guys and this band. And last time, when we did this years ago, years ago, I guess it was, we literally sat down and started auditioning ba** players, you know, the day after the funeral for Cliff. So now it's years later, different circumstances. When Jason left, he took his ba**es with him. Do you want a four or five? Whatever. What five-strings do you have? This one's a five-string. Keep searching Keep on searching This search goes on This search goes on The band-- These guys collectively probably own, like, five to guitars, so they're not all here. On and on Tick tick tick tick tick tick tock Frantic Tick tick tick tick tick tick tock Frantic Tick tick tick tick tick tick tock Frantic Tick tick tick tick tick tick tock You went into another voice there, dude. Which one of me are you talking to? Think that we should just spend the next two and a half hours with this guy. Don't you? I had a vision of us jamming with him the last hour. I guess I just feel this is just kind of, like, weird to keep, like, just doing our own thing. It just feels not welcoming. This morning I heard him say he was pretty comfortable. It's not about what he says. It's about what I feel. - All right? - Are we cool, James? Yeah. I guess the only other thing I'd like to say is, you know, when we leave this up to just how we're feeling, a lot of it depends on how you're feeling. You know, when you say those things. Not that I wanna break up what you guys are discussing, if you wanna go deeper, you know? But I think what might be really good is to treat this with respect, go out and do this... Metallica stuff? - I could try "Battery." - "Battery"? You can play that fast with your fingers? Battery That's a f**ing pretty mighty ba** sound you got going there. - Yeah, it's f**ing-- - I don't know. It's the Mesa and the Hiwatt. Is there anything else you know as well as that? Cliff. It was just like you saw Cliff, and me and James went, "He's in our band, there's no question." He hit it out of the park. And that's where it sort of gets interesting. Because if Cliff Burton showed up today, maybe he wouldn't be the guy either. I mean, the three guys that I like all have unique features that I would love to Frankenstein, you know? - Yeah! Definitely. - Some kind of monster? That would be great. I don't think you should settle. I think you should get the right guy. If you don't hit it out of the park with one of these guys, then you're gonna end up four years down the road in the same situation you did with Jason. A four count, then... And into the solo. Just follow. He was the first guy of any of them - that didn't look like he was struggling. - That's what I told Bob. Do you know what I mean about, like, it--? You know, with some of the other guys, it was sort of percent over their capabilities, or something like that. You don't feel that with this guy at all. It's like the last three songs, like "Sanitarium," "Nothing Else Matters" and what was...? - "Sad But True." - "Sad But True," they were flawless. I looked over at him during "Whiplash," and he was just right in the pocket and in there. And then afterwards, when he played it alone with his finger, it hadn't been played that way since Cliff. It's just, like: - Yeah. - Yeah, his finger's a pick, you know? - Yeah. - Yeah, it's three picks. All right, are we gonna sack Bob now? Well, the second time you came back, I mean, that was, for me, when I noticed that you make us play better, man. You make the band sound so much better. - So solid. - How do you feel about that, man? Well, I feel awesome, man. - You're the chosen one. - You looked coolest. And we want you to be a real member of this band, not just a hired hand. And we'd like to offer you-- Basically, to give-- To show you how serious we are about this, offer you a million dollars to join our band right now. - And-- - Wait, okay. And as a kind of a good-faith thing about how serious we are-- It's an advance. It's an advance on some percentage you're gonna be making with the band. Here's money up front to get you kicked in and inspired and: "This is a reality. This is my future. This is what life can hold for me with my new family." I can't really talk right now. Invisible kid Never see what he did Got stuck where he hid Falling through the grid Invisible kid Got a place of his own Where he'll never be known Inward he's grown Invisible kid Never see what he did Got stuck where he hid Falling through the grid Invisible kid Got a place of his own Where he'll never be known Inward he's grown There's things that I miss, and I'm sad it couldn't work out, and things, you know, like that. But there's way, way, way, way more times and way more days and even hours that go by and I'm reminded, "Dude, all right. You did the right thing." You know, "You did the right thing for yourself." I don't know if it's the right time to say this, but, I don't know, I've been thinking about our talk. About, you know, you and us and our future and all of that stuff, and... And, you know, when I heard that you guys were moving here and all of that, that brought up a lot of fear around: "Wow, what is Phil's perception of, you know, his, you know, longevity with Metallica?" You know? That scared me a little bit. Well, I appreciate that. I was-- If it scared you, and that's part of the issue going forward, then let me say we haven't decided we're moving here. I've tried to make it clear that we're selling-- I think we've told people we're selling our house in Kansas City, but that doesn't mean we're moving here, okay? And we won't likely move to San Francisco if there's not a future out there with Metallica, because, you know, that's my-- I wanna make sure that the ba** player's intact. I wanna be sure that the tour's on. And I also, as I said, have performance-coach visions for each of you and for the band. And l-- To me, the work isn't over. I'd like us to honour what we had, and if you wanna be away from-- You know, on your own or something for the couple of months until we come back in June, that's okay. I just kind of-- I don't know. I guess I have a problem with the, "Let's see how it works out. Let's see how it happens," and then, "No, let's honour what happened, you know, six months ago." You know? That's kind of strange to me, you know? Because I think that you use those things when they're convenient at times, you know? Personal stuff or business things. And I don't know. I don't know. They're-- The boundaries are-- I don't-- Becoming more clear to me. There's that element of-- Of trust that just kind of floats with you with me. And l-- And that-- I'm really sorry about that. That-- You know. I've been swimming uphill on that one for a long time with you, and I'd like for us to be able to resolve it. But maybe we can't. I've gotta tell you that l-- You know, if the client, either James or us, says: You know, then I really think that needs to be respected without, you know, just, you know, the old turn-the-knife thing in there. You know, it's just, you know, if the client says, you know, timeout for a while, timeout. That is great, although we-- Our process, what we normally do-- Then it should be put on the table, but left on the table, and should be able to walk away without what you're saying right now, which is now there are trust issues and stuff. I don't know how to separate out-- In its simplest form, I think it's a conflict of interest that you tell him that he needs you around more. - If he has-- - No, no, no, no, no. I'm not saying that. I see that as a conflict of interest. Look, I am saying you guys have made a decision. It's okay for me to say I'm not happy with that decision. The premise is, you guys don't need me. And I'm good with that. Anyway, you go... It's-- - Anyway, let's jam. - Great, I'll see you guys. I'm taking off. I'll see you next week. Have a good one. Thanks, man. Who's in charge of my head today? Dancing devils in angel's way It's my time now It's my time now It's my time now It's my time Look out, motherf**ers Here I come I'm gonna make my head my home The sons of b**hes Try to take my head Tried to make me Someone else instead You've been in the band for five minutes, and you're an icon? It's such an honour, and, you know, I'm stoked. So... Your voting interest will equal your percentage interest in a new account, while each of our voting interests will be one-third of the difference between percent and your percentage. This is about as lawyer as you get. But it's really-- - Sort of laying out-- - Yeah, lays out the deal. Okay, so, for instance, in the first period you have percent, okay? So when we do a vote, you get votes, you get votes, you get votes, you get five votes, in any vote, okay? - But this doesn't mean anything. - I think it's crap. I mean, l-- I think in the spirit of what we're trying to do, we better do and then Q Prime's the tiebreaker. That's-- That works, that's fine. Cool. Now, here it also says, "You will not be required to fund any losses in the new Metallica account, but we will be entitled to recover any losses out of future profits." For instance, buying the documentary, it's not your problem. If the documentary loses money and the company never makes any more money again, it's these three guys' problem. Exactly. "What'd you do with your money?" "I went and bought a car, I bought my mom a house, and we went and bought a documentary." It was just-- You gotta keep in the spirit of this whole thing. By the end of this week, we're gonna have an album title. Because in three days, we won't have to agonize about this anymore. Well, the thing that stood out to me was St. Anger. It's strong. I mean, there's-- Iconic strong, you know? - I like that title quite a bit. - It's so easy just to say, "June th is St. Anger's Day." - Yeah, well, it's true. That's cool. - No, I mean-- I think Frantic is a better album title. - I think that's-- - I don't know. - It's more about the record. - But St. Anger's a good-- It's an original statement. St. Anger, St. Anger. Well, this is an angry record, but you read the lyrics, it's angry in a healthy way. - It's also frantic. - Getting stuff out. Frantic is more like, "They're trying things that they don't-- They don't-- They're not exactly sure of. They don't know what they're doing. They're trying to climb back up the mountain again. They're not sure of themselves." I mean, hello, that's a fair thing. I mean, if you think that Frantic has a negative connotation to it, I never thought of it like that. If it's St. Anger, they're gonna form an image of: "These guys are angry. I know it. They're angry about Napster. They're angry about the new stuff that's coming in. They're angry about their lives. I'm angry too. I get it." I think you guys know the idea about shooting a video in San Quentin. So let me get this straight. You're gonna go to a maximum-security prison, and Metallica's gonna play "St. Anger" really loud. - Yeah! - Yeah! St. Anger 'round my neck St. Anger 'round my neck He never gets respect St. Anger 'round my neck I've been asked to come out here and talk a little bit about what this song means to us. Anger's an emotion that I've struggled with for pretty much all my life. - St. Anger 'round my neck - You flush it out, you flush it out He never gets respect There's a lot of misspent anger that has come out sideways for a lot of people. Including yourselves. And if I hadn't had music in my life, it's quite possible I could be in here, or not even in here, be dead. And I'd much rather be alive. Madly in anger with you I'm madly in anger with you I'm madly in anger with you I'm madly in anger with you I'm pretty nervous up here. I don't really know what to say. I'm just trying to share some of what's going on for me. I'm not here to sell nothing, that's for damn sure. Everyone is born good. Everyone's got the same size soul, and we're here to connect with that. So we're very proud to be in your house and play some music for you. Thanks. More than any other record, I don't know if you feel that, but for me, this is like product of what we're just doing, hanging out. You know what I mean? - It's almost like a diary. - Yeah. It's like, here's our memories on CD, you know? It's like we've proven that you can make aggressive music - without negative energy. - Yeah. Okay, and I don't think anybody ever thought that that would be possible. You know? You can make something that's aggressive and f**ed up, okay? With positive energy - between the people creating it. - Yeah. It hit me, you know? This project's coming to an end, and I don't know, I think I'm kind of bummed about that. I'm kind of, just, kind of liking the schedule that happens, or the safeness in that. Coming here, being able to talk. Creating, you know? And... I don't know. I've been kind of coming down from this for about the past month. I mean, getting up at in the morning, and just pacing my apartment. Just not really knowing what the hell I'm doing either. So I'm with you. Like, I don't wanna let you go home. I don't know. I really appreciate that. That's really nice of you to say. I don't know, I can feel myself kind of protecting myself with some depression or something, wanting to just kind of isolate. And I don't wanna do that. I wanna feel the sadness of-- I mean, I didn't feel depressed, I felt sad. And that's when I knew it was something different than just me... My old stuff, you know? I mean, there is some of that, but... Sadness and depression, I guess I don't really know the difference. And, Phil, all the stuff that you've brought here to, like... You've set out all the tools, like, you know? And you allowed us to build what we've built, you know? With guidance. I really appreciate your bringing this forward. And there is a difference between sadness and depression. Clearly. This is the hugest chapter in my life. If I could have my wasted days back Would I use them to get Back on track? Stand back. Stand back. Keep away from the car. - I love you. - I love you too. Can I find it inside To deal with what I shouldn't know? Could I have my wasted days back Would I use them to get back on track? You live it or lie it You live it or lie it You live it or lie it You live it or lie it My lifestyle determines my d**hstyle Determines my d**hstyle Keep searching Keep on searching This search goes on On and on Keep searching, keep on searching This search goes on On and on Frantic Tick tick tick tick tick tick tock Frantic Tick tick tick tick tick tick tock Frantic Tick tick tick tick tick tick tock Frantic Tick tick tick tick tick tick tock Go! Thank you so much for supporting Metallica through all the rough times and all the great times. Metallica loves you! Yeah! Yeah! f**ing a! Metallica! Metallica! Metallica!