Rep - Prison in my Head lyrics

Intro After I shot myself I was conscience. I couldn't see, I heard everything. I heard my boyfriend screaming. So I remember feeling around, the recoil of the weapon was so powerful it took me from being on my hands and knees, To sitting on the bed, it threw me on the bed. And I remember the first thing I thought was, oh my god, I did it, I did it. I can't believe I did it Verse 1 I'm so tired of falling If this Tylenol could numb the pain or extra strength but a firearm would I got a friend who survived the shot Suicide, humans die, say goodbye then say hi to God She said a prayer 'fore she pulled the trigger: "Lord if it be your will, I apologize so please forgive me" Then the hammer clicked The devil and his demons laugh entertainment like they're staring through a camera lens She's on the doctor's table operating She said that's when she left the body Nurses screaming like they lost a patient And she woke up in hell so goes the tale That it was hotter than the barrel of the gun she shot her face with And to make things even worse She can hear herself falling while they calling out a name that wasn't even hers And she's like dang I'm dying And no one even knows my name What a shame that I am Like an insane asylum the way they tie me to this bed and stich my face together My names a waste of letters Colder than the late December That's when she heard God say: "I did not forget you, I know your name and I would twice hang on that cross to get you. And the scars on your face I'ma leave you with are there to remind you that from this day it's for me you live." And her story is so bittersweet Cause I know if God can deliver her Than surely he'll deliver me (Chorus) I'm sitting in my room and I wonder what it is that you see when you look at me Is this how it is? I don't wanna pretend like I'm something that I'll never be Lord pick me up cause I don't wanna to fall again And save me, save me, from this prison in my head (Verse 2) So there's no one else to blame or point the fingers at If life's a sad sad song than where the singers at? Love just flies away I guess that's why these artists always seems to draw the red heart with the wings attached Life is short time is borrowed like the tweaker who just never brought my speakers back Mr. Deacon, please don't put me where the preacher sat Cause I don't own a suit, and just might stain your carpet Cause lately to be honest All this dirt I've been walkin' in has turned my sneakers black My wife's the best of me And I'm the weaker half If life's a recipe I'm sick of eating that Become the d**h of me This pure ecstasy so let it be Put that on everything that Jesus has But thou shall not swear So my words are locked there In a freezer bag They just melt away Talk is cheap Can't afford to pay if there is hell to pay So I'm feeling kind of nervous And my stomachs turning At the dinner table like I'm hoping someone else can pray All my selfish ways I've been caught red handed Like the kid who stuck his hands in the velvet cake (Chorus) (Verse 3) Yeah, kids look up to me It's like they think I'm perfect See I'm drowning barely breathing trying to reach the surface They say my songs speak to 'em like I'm preaching sermons And the pastor at his church sounds like he's speaking German But I just wonder if he knows That I got problems of my own And I'm following this road But I ain't perfect neither That's why I need God His grace keeps me from flippin' out at my wife And packing my bags at night to leave her And trust me I done thought about it And not one homey was around that I could call on like "Dog, I'm drowning." They just left me drinking oceans Trying to swallow mountains Walking the tightrope during an earthquake I'm all off balance But I'm convinced that he was there when no one else was Satan gives the evil stare but Romans 1 says I am not ashamed And I am not ashamed So even when it's all over I still overcome (Chorus)