Red Herring - Rasta Man lyrics

You know man, Sometime life get you down And you start to think you got it pretty bad. Remember, there always people out there Who got it badder than you. And no matter how bad or crappy Life start to seem, Know that you always got the Rasta Man. Drivin' in my car, Goin' real fast I got "Cats" in the deck Original broadway cast. "Memories" comes on, It's my favorite jam, Then I hit some black ice This is not what I planned. I manage to get the car back on the road Then a drunk prick hit me and I start to roll. Now I drool on myself, Eat out of a straw, And I share apple sauce With my grandpa. But the Rasta Man Has got the Rasta Plan, To get everybody dancin' To the Rasta Band. And if you're white like me, Work on your Rasta Tan. But everone's invited To the Rasta Jam, So jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! Jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! Well I was sittin' in the lobby, Waitin' for my doc' I got both of my eyes Focusin' in on da clock. This is the longest day I can remember my whole life. Well the doctor comes in, Say he ain't wearin no grin He says I got some bad news For you and your next of kin. He says you got "The Clap" And you gave it to your wife...Oh no no no! But the Rasta Man Has got the Rasta Plan, To get everybody dancin' To the Rasta Band. And if you're white like me, Work on your Rasta Tan. But everone's invited To the Rasta Jam, So jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! Jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! I'm sittin' at home, Alone in my room, Wanna have some fun So I grab the vacuum. I know that I swore I'd give it up for Lent. But this here vacuum Has a special attachment. For a while it s**, And then it get stuck, I call 9-1-1, I hope I ain't outta luck. The doc put me under I woke up with a shock Cause now I'm the first amputee on my block! But the Rasta Man Has got the Rasta Plan, To get everybody dancin' To the Rasta Band. And if you're white like me, Work on your Rasta Tan. But everone's invited To the Rasta Jam, So jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! Jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! Well I was sittin' in the park Around 3 PM, When a man walked up He coulda been my twin. He walked over to a group Of tiny little boys And he asked them to play With all his shiny little toys. Well the police came up Point a gun at my chest, And I say "Officer, I'm not the one to arrest!" They say "Forget about it boy, We got you on tape!" So here I am In jail for statuatory rape, Oh no... But the Rasta Man Has got the Rasta Plan, To get everybody dancin' To the Rasta Band. And if you're white like me, Work on your Rasta Tan. But everone's invited To the Rasta Jam, So jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! Jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! I went to this party Down the street, The booze was flowin' The b**hes was sweet. I see this girl She was over in the corner And all night she be lookin' me over. So I stroll over to her Say "Baby, your place or mine?" She say, "Ours." And that confuse me a bit, But drunk and horny I didn't give no sh**. Never felt no worse Than oh in the morn, My mom said "Son, Our condom was torn!" But the Rasta Man Has got the Rasta Plan, To get everybody dancin' To the Rasta Band. And if you're white like me, Work on your Rasta Tan. But everone's invited To the Rasta Jam, So jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh! Jam on! Woo-ooh-ooh!