Ray Stevens - Too Drunk to Fish lyrics

Recitation Now me and Harold this buddy of mine decided that we'd go fishin' one time, so we drove to the lake with my brand new ba** boat. I brought the fishin' poles the pork and beans the saltine crackers and the canned sardines, and Harold brought all the booze one man could tote. While I loaded the boat and filled the tank and tried to get that motor to crank, Harold just sat there sippin' on a longneck beer. While I was steerin' the boat and tyin' the plugs he was drinkin' moonshine straight from the jug and he was singing "Melancholy Baby" when we left the pier, huh, huh... Chorus Oh, never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin' Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish Just leave that fool at home to drink He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish Recitation Well, I was concentratin', perfectin' my cast, hopin' to land a trophy ba** and Harold was havin' trouble tryin' to find the lake. Layin' there beside him at his feet was an anchor line coiled up real neat, Harold saw it went white as a ghost and hollered "Snake!" Well, he jumped straight up and began to yell. I said "Sit down Harold and behave yourself. Can't you see that ain't nothin' but a piece of rope." Ha, ha... Well, he was scared to d**h, plumb out of his mind tryin' not to get bit by that anchor line and he grabbed my shotgun blew a hole in the bottom of the boat...(Blam! Harold! Glup... glub... glub) Chorus Never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin' Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish Just leave that fool at home to drink He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish Recitation Now too drunk to fish is too drunk to swim. So I was dog paddlin' and draggin' him and finally made it to a little sand bar just big enough for two. It was way after dark when that helicopter came with that big searchlight and callin' our names. And Harold looked up to the sky and said, "Lord is that you?" Slowly And then he knelt there in that heavenly glow and said "Lord you know I ain't ready to go so if you pa** me by tonight, oh... I will reform." Then they threw down a raft and I paddled us home he never touched a drop from that moment on. Ya know the Lord works in mysterious ways his miracles to perform. Chorus Never go fishin' with a man who has been drinkin' Cause things just might not work out like you'd wish Just leave that fool at home to drink He'll be just as happy fishin' in the kitchen sink Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish Don't go near the water with a man too drunk to fish...