Random Encounters - The Legend of Ganondorf lyrics

I wake up in the morning I put on my ugly face I make myself some breakfast I spritz myself with mace I get my trusty notebook I mix myself a drink I grab my pen and sit and then Find ways to murder Link! Like I could throw some balls of magic Or I'll form a shadow clone Or I could sit and play my organ Or just wait on Hyrule's throne Or maybe turn into a puppet Or a giant, crazy snake But one thing's sure, you see Each plan will be A freaking huge mistake! [Chorus] Ga-Ga-Ga-Ganondorf! (x8) I check my daily planner It tells me what to do It says to kidnap Zelda And take the Triforce too I'll come invade her castle Cause Zelda's pretty hot She'll be my Gerudo princess Or stay in jail to rot! Cause I've got giant, rippling muscles And abs the size of hams A neck that's thick and made of iron And bu*tocks as strong as rams So if you can't get past my eyebrows Or my complexion puts you off Then just pretend I'm your boyfriend And that my name is Sephiroth! [Chorus] I'll break out of the Dark World The Sacred Realm's a joke The Twilight Realm can't hold me The Master Sword is broke! No matter how you slay me I'll come back just the same Except in Link's Adventure Cause Zelda II is lame! So get yourself some Heart Containers And a shiny Magic Shield A pimped-out boomerang that sparkles And a sword too big to wield! You'd better gather seven sages Or some maidens Or some tears But hurry back cause I'll attack again In another hundred years! [Chorus] See, life can be quite fragile When you're evil and you're feared You've got a drinking problem And no one likes your beard You've got multiple personalities Because you turn into a swine You deny all memory of a trilogy That was made for CD-i! So I'll just hire a thousand Bulbins And invite them to my tower And we can throw a raucous kegger Using my Triforce of Power! Cause there'll be b**by Traps, Dodongos Wizzrobes, Gidbos, Stalfos, too! And poor old Link won't be invited cause he's a Goody-two-shoes noob! [Chorus]