Random Encounters - Like John: A Mass Effect Song lyrics

What kind of man leaves his dead out to rot And threatens fake smugglers with guns? Who punches crazed scientists there on the spot And disconnects calls just for fun? Well, this kind of man? He'll insult all his friends He's mean and perpetually cross! He'll make racist cracks at his squad Turion Then he'll shoot worthless crew like a boss! No one shoves goons like John Out a window like John! Pilfers pets when he gets Too depressed quite like John! Rigging slots makеs him lots! Blows off steam by frying bots! None's insanely as angry as John! No onе fights quite like John! Hijacks flights quite like John! Plays the double- no QUADRUPLE agent like John! Xenocidal, hoplophile And aggressively tactile! No one terrifies and villifies The other guys like John! If you act like a wimp Then he'll shoot you and your chimp! If you're part of the Council, run and hide! No one tases his foes Wallops PRESS in the nose And intimidates entire planetsides... He's not scared of a worm Even if it's twelve times tall Then he'll list all his trysts With your mom on bathroom stalls! Then he'll trade her for her daughter (Who he chooses 'cause she's hotter) Knowing people say it's lethal quite like John! No one hates Crogan mercs Or helps swindle dirt-poor clerks! No one blows off fans toes Or behave like giant jerks! Who's defiantly untiring And violently inspiring? No one but John!