Random Encounters - Ganon Claus: A Zelda Christmas Carol lyrics

A time ago, and far away There was a distant land! And in it lived a handsome brute A grouchy, greenish man! He beat to death a gangly elf And led the Gerudo Clan! He was known as the dreaded Ganon Claus! "Oh, I know that story!" "You do?" “Sure!” Old Ganon Claus had sacks of gold He gave to those in need! ("He what?!") He'd Ho-ho-ho across the snow Upon his noble steed! -And then In every town, he’d trample down- -All those practicing greed, ("Hey!") Says the tale of the gracious Ganon Claus! "That sounds ridiculous, and completely made up! And where'd you get that flugelhorn?" "Bеats me!" Now Ganon Claus was pretty bad His evil knеw no bounds! ("Oh, dear!") -I heard he did much nicer things- -Like burn stuff to the ground! ("Yeah! Wait-") He killed off Gorons, Zoras And that guy who goes around- ...and around... and around... and around... "That guy kind of looks like Brentalfloss..." ...and the world feared the wicked Ganon Claus! There came a day when Ganon Claus Caused Hyrule's hope to fall! He took the Triforce, then proclaimed... -"Merry Christmas to you all!" ("No, he didn’t!") Put his Rupees in charities And gave his mom a call! ("MOM?!") Oh, that merry and caring Ganon Claus! “No, no, that's not how it went! You completely screwed up the whole song!”