Random Encounters - Friday Night Funkin' The Musical lyrics

Dad: Do you smoke? Do you drink? Do your armpits tend to stink? Why'd you dye your messy hair? Do you change your underwear? Boyfriend: Sorry, we should really go We were here to see a show Meeting you's been such a treat! Yo, your dad is super sweet! Dad: Maybe... I wasn't clear You two... are staying here Tell me... about your work? You gotta job your little jerk? Boyfriend (spoken): Yeah about that (Boyfriend): No. Sir, i'm still in school Learning... is pretty cool! One day... with my degree Dad: You'll never be as good as me! Boyfriend (simultaneously): This may seem impolite But we wеre... not planning to invite Our parents... don't takе this as slight Enjoy the... rest of your funkin' Friday night Dad (simultaneously): No one dates my daughter 'till they earn the right I don't know you. I don't like you. There's no chance I might And nothing brings me more malicious and depraved delight Than to bury Girlfriend's boyfriend on a funkin' Friday night! Mom: Do you spit or pick your nose? Own a gun? Wear women's clothes? su*k your thumb or bite your nails? Dad: Get beaten up by alpha males? Boyfriend: Listen, lady... Mom: Call me Mom Boyfriend: -Normally i'm much more calm But tonight i'm on a date So all these questions gotta wait Dad: Got any moles or warts? Mom: Rashes of any sort? Dad and Mom: Do you eat human meat? su*kle at the devil's teat? Boyfriend: What does... that even mean!? I'm just... a normal teen! Dad: Do you know the muffin man!? Mom: -Or have a Roth retirement plan? Boyfriend (simultaneously): This may seem impolite But we were... not planning to invite Our parents... don't take this as slight Enjoy the... rest of your funkin' Friday night Dad and Mom (simultaneously): No one dates our daughter 'till they earn the right We don't know you. We don't like you. There's no chance we might And nothing brings us more malicious and depraved delight Than to bury Girlfriend's boyfriend on a funkin' Friday night! (Dad and Mom): Please give your perspective On modern non-objective art! Boyfriend: Sorry, no thanks... I gotta be frank That we're due to depart... Dad and Mom: Do you have tattoos? What size are the shoes your wearing? We need to know, has your appendix been removed? Boyfriend (simultaneously): No- Yes- about 11 Oh, I guess, around age 7 I don't see how These questions matter, now- Dad and Mom (simultaneously): What's your blood type? Been to Spain? Were you ever potty trained? Do you recycle glass and cans? Tell us all your future plans- Girlfriend: Mom, Dad... since you've shown up Things have... really blown up! Look at me! I'm a grown up! I can make my own decisions! Dad and Mom: Girlfriend, don't be silly Do you think he's really Good enough for you? Is this the best you can do? Girlfriend: Sure, he's... not drop-dead gorgeous Smells like old spice and oranges I don't really mind Plus they say that love is blind Dad and Mom: Does he... brush twice a day? Eat gluten... soy, eggs, or whey? See, you don't even know! This dumb kid has got to go! Dad and Mom (simultaneously): Listen pumpkin- Go on. Dump him- Don't protest- We know best! Girlfriend (simultaneously): You're being so unfair! He's not a creep. I swear! We'll be together... forever! Our kids will have blue hair! Dad (simultaneously): Girlfriend ain't your girlfriend. So get out of sight! She's a winner, you're a loser, and you know i'm right! I hope this domineering message ain't becoming trite So go be someone else's boyfriend on your funky Friday night! Are you hard of hearing or just not that bright? I won't let my darling daughter date a parasite! So beat it! Scram! Vamoose! Get lost! And don't forget to write 'cause your no longer Girlfriend's boyfriend on this funky... Mom (simultaneously): Boyfriend cannot date you 'till he earns the right! He just met you - barely knows you - but i'm scared he might! He's clearly smitten with his wit and yes, he seems polite But Boyfriend needs a different girlfriend for his funky Friday night! This discussion's over, I won't have this fight Why'd we ever let you sign up for that dating site! He may seem positively dreamy - straight up dynamite! But Boyfriend's still a swingin' single on this funkin'... Girlfriend (simultaneously): I don't care if you're right! I love him... just as he is despite He's not a big star or socialite He's just a great date for this funky Friday night! You're always so uptight! And dad is... all bark and zero bite! Whatever! Go fly a flippin' kite! You're not the... boss of this funky... Boyfriend (simultaneously) I know that I'm not quite Some kind of Greek god or shining knight Your daughter... still thinks that i'm all right So maybe... don't wreck her funky Friday night It's clear we aren't that tight But maybe... one day you'll see the light And then we'll get past this and unite Around or... shared love of funkin'... All: Friday Night!