Rabbi Darkside - Staring at the Mirror (Winter on 18th st) lyrics

To all the beautiful girls I've loved and lost To all the songs I've left locked up inside my heart To all the time I've wasted staring blankly at the mirror With nothing say and nobody to hear it Eyes to the ceiling before the alarms rung My arm the only thing asleep snooze bar none 6:30 in the AM a cold and empty bed Knowing my clock is fast so it's really just 6:10 My ahead abuzz with the same song from the previous day A din of clashing of chords can't seem to get out of my own way My mind once able to process the beautiful struggle Now knotted in so many places swollen scarred and bubbled Drug addled and scrambled one too many scandals Plus a whole inheritance to carry handle and battle Dawn sky on the verge of tears not a cloud around Valor lost like luggage only cowardice abounds Bereft of even a touch of will to pull back simple sheets Knowing the day holds more in store than he can manage to meet Confined to the same house for 10 plus year so long ago The ghosts are stronger than the living the world covered in snow To all the beautiful girls I've loved and lost To all the songs I've left locked up inside my heart To all the time I've wasted staring blankly at the mirror With nothing say and nobody to hear it Eyes to the mirror before the days begun Dazed and running in a rerun sleep deprived and numb Steeped in shower steam the stream of water still unbroken The tap blistering hot the tub drains distilled emotion Towel rubs the mirror in a circle that reveals Just enough of half my face only halfway face my fears Cabinet meant for medicine poison in what it represents Frames a state of mind that could probably use a sedative This piece of solid gla** with polished silver at its back Must tire of me staring as if it was looking back I used to sing a carol practiced through the looking gla** See images of wonderland caps and Cheshire cats Now it locks my gaze distorting perception and opticals How difficult for far-sighted eyes to focus on follicles A single strand is plucked a ba** tone that's macabre This note drones overwhelming every obligated cause To all the beautiful girls I've loved and lost To all the songs I've left locked up inside my heart To all the time I've wasted staring blankly at the mirror With nothing say and nobody to hear it Eyes to the window where translucent blinds are hung Useless as the music wrote for sons with no tongue Who've never sung a lick let alone followed a dream Have as much trouble swallowing as hollering a scream I try to grow a beard to cover up the child But end up tearing it out and acidic vile pile Mighty hard to crack a smile ever harder to shard gla** For inside this mirror's confines my troubles infinite last And when I see my reflection I feel fear frail and despondent Talk aloud knowing there's no one there for responding The hours that I've wasted trapped inside my insecurities Scratching at my skin furiously nervously For that is all symbolic as is the marijuana The tendencies towards bendering rendered an alcoholic The song of self was once melodic if never harmonic All the women all the singing all the living Have I lost it?