R Crumb & His Cheap Suit Serenaders - Christopher Columbus lyrics

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two A Dago from Eye-tally Went walking down the avenue Eating a hot tamale Chorus: He knew the world was round, oh! [He sailed a ship around, oh!] That navigating, masturbating Son-of-a-b**h, Columbo A girl ran from the alleyway And who was that pursued her? The white of an egg ran down her leg Columbus sure did screw her Columbus went to the Queen of Spain To get a ship and cargo He said, “I'd be a son-of-a-b**h If I don't bring back Chicago.” Chorus: He knew the world was round, oh! He sailed a ship around, oh! That masticating, masturbating Son-of-a-b**h, Columbo Bridge: Hold tight, Mr. Chris Columbus! [Went to sea] without a compa** Got a pain in his cucumbus Up spoke Mr. Chris Columbus: "[He said I just can't stand] Until I reach land I must get a hand From someone in the band" Christy took one glance And quickly saw his chance When a blushing man Dropped his pants for romance! Christy said now, "bend down mister And remember if this should pain It's for Spain." And it was not in vain! When the man bent down Christy went to town How the crew did cheer As he worked from the rear (back to main verse tune) For 40 days and 40 nights They sailed in search of booty They spied a who*e on a pagan shore By God she was a beauty! Over the rails by heads and tails Shedding their shirts and collars In fourteen minutes by the clock She made nine hundred dollars Chorus: He knew the world was round, oh! His pants were hanging down, oh! That flagellating, masturbating Son-of-a-b**h, Columbo Bridge again: Hold tight, Mr. Chris Columbus! [He said hurray for the] New World [something unintelligible] compa**!