Q Strange - Why I'm F'd Up lyrics

[Chorus] People wanna know why I'm so f**ed up Could it be because of the way I grew up I didn't have much and times were tough And I deal with this pain as a grown adult [Verse 1] Grownin' up was rough even though I had love I came up in an environment with violence and d** My mom was an addict I was too young to see this I be playin' doctor with the hypodermic needles She told me not to touch'em they were for her boyfriend's medicine I guess his sickness was addiction like hers it was h**n I'd see the bruises on her face she'd tell me that she fell Innocence prevailed and I believed her fairy tales Sometimes I hear him hit her and I'd hide under the covers Listen to the terrifying screams from my motha Vowing that one day I'd be big enough to beat him And now I am I hope to god that I don't ever meet'em My father bailed out when I still a little infant I see'em now and then but didn't know him what's the difference He was an alcoholic anyway or so they say So I guess I didn't need him in my life anyway My mom got clean and sober when that boyfriend sh** was over Just a matter of time before it came back and took over Growin' up in the projects on food stamps and welfare Kids crackin' on my sneakers never had a new pair Mom did remarry though when I was thirteen But it seems that her dream man turned out to be a dope fiend Another one, shootin' up and gettin' f**ed up And then yall wonder why I never been drunk or do d** And then in High school I f**ed up I didn't pay attention f** detention and suspension, I ain't doin' this I'm jettin' At 16 my whole world came to a halt I lost my mother to the devil and I felt it was my fault She was all that I had, now I'm sittin' all alone 16 years old trying to make it on my own Ain't never graduated cuz I didn't even bother Man I coulda been somebody if I tried a little harder Workin' full time for a minimum wage Wishin' I was on stage it wasn't just a faze Dreaming of being the next rap star sensation I broke the hell out and took a permanent vacation Depression hittin' harder yeah I even thought of suicide Its do or die, and I ain't doin' sh** so I don't even try and Gettin' high is all the peeps around me seem to do And I ain't goin' that route, so I always stay true But now life is good I gotta wife that I love And a son in my world and I ain't f**in' this up So there you have it now ya know why I'm so f**ed up And how a troubled child grows up a troubled adult But now I gotta chance to do things right for my son Keep him safe from these d** and these thugs packin' guns I'll make it in this world and I ain't going to go and quit Channel all this negative into positive sh** [Chorus] - 5X