Typewriter torment, dreadful disease Caught it the first day i touched the keys You wear down your fingers and churn out your pap It eats up your life like a dose of the clap Typewriter torment it tortures me still If only my doctor could see that i'm ill Typewriter fever it harries me still If only my doctor would give me a pill Typewriter fever gives birth to a flood It sweeps through your body and curdles your blood You curse and discurse but you're damned for all time The moment your fingers give birth to a rhyme Typewriter fever it harries me still If only my doctor would give me a pill Typewriter fever i'm worn to a stub I've dumped my thesaurus and pulled out the plug I'm rending my ribbon and bending my spool Don't bother rewinding: i'm done with it all But why can't my doctor just say that i'm ill? Typewriter fever is paying his bill.