[Intro, Female sing-song] I am a pretty little dutch girl As pretty as pretty can be And all the boys around my block Are crazy over me [MC Paul Barman] I was walking down the street Looking at b**bs a**es faces Went in the salvation army For some used gla**es cases Next to the doorway The cashier in cashmere held up an old map of Norway She flipped it over and the message read "you're gay" I looked at her anxiously Her two lip rings looked like fangs to me I hope my s**m'll get under your thermal Underwear, because you're cuter than Nermal She said "go get a hair cut!" So I showed her my bare bu*t Pulled down my Carhartts Put my moon in her star charts And to make stupid stupider I slapped a ring on my a** Said "Now my moon's Jupiter" [The Black Italiano] f**ing a**hole [Male sing-song] She has a boyfriend Fatty He comes from Cincinnati With 48 toes and a pickle on his nose And this is the way the story goes [MC Paul Barman] Clicky clack who's at the rack with the jackets It's Black Italiano looking black cause he's backlit [The Black Italiano] Hey what's up with these f**ing Chinese looking street gang jackets? [MC Paul Barman] We started to slow dance, I said no chance for romance If I have to wear condoms cause they feel like snow pants But I couldn't stay calm because she Revealed the bra made of two yarmulkes I said you're hella great, let's celebrate! We took the freight elevate- R to continue our back and forth shagging sports To the room with the Davenport Where men become cuckolds She chuckled I felt her knuckle above my belt buckle [Male sing-song] One day when she was walking She heard her boyfriend talking To a little girl with a strawberry curl And this is what he said to her [MC Paul Barman] My pissed off jimbrowski turned three colors like Krzysztof Kieślowski I said a handjob's a man's job Yo' job's a blow job That p**n snob, that corncob with a doorknob Is a born slob, but not blameless Every penis wants to be famous It's a good way to stay misogynistic and aimless She said "I'm glad you explained that My name is Jane Pratt Before you jerk off on my head Please pa** me that rain hat." So I did, you know? What can I say? I'm a lonely male who won't settle for any phony in a ponytail [The Black Italiano/Prince Paul] Come on, bring your woman over here So I can show her a real Italian man I got the best of both f**ing worlds here f**ing black man's dick and an Italian man's brain [Prince Paul breaks into laughter after being heckled] f**ing a**holes [Laughter from the booth]